by "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
Published 04/17/2017 at 01:23
by "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
Published 04/17/2017 at 01:23
Tags: Foodlopnik
STARS: 7
My wife brought home some of these and urged me to try one. Here are my thoughts.
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO.
"The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes)
04/17/2017 at 01:26, STARS: 8
Vegetable flavored chocolate in general should not exist.
"Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch" (bman76)
04/17/2017 at 01:30, STARS: 0
If you ever see pecan pie flavored M&Ms, know to say NO.
"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
04/17/2017 at 01:44, STARS: 1
Never eat Lindt chocolate with chili pepper. Just say NO to that.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
04/17/2017 at 04:43, STARS: 2
Sounds disgusting. Why do people keep trying to “fix” chocolate? Chocolate is not broken people! Leave it alone!
"marshknute" (marshknute)
04/17/2017 at 06:49, STARS: 1
Didn’t see the title at first. Was wondering why your wife was feeding you shark’s teeth.
"boredalways" (boredalway666)
04/17/2017 at 07:41, STARS: 1
For your suffering
"Ssfancyfresh" (scotttt)
04/17/2017 at 08:10, STARS: 0
Counterpoint: yes
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
04/17/2017 at 09:00, STARS: 3
Wife, on our way to her brother’s for Easter: We need to remember to stop at Walgreen’s on the way home for malted milk balls, do you want any?
Me: No, malted milk balls are gross.
Wife: But they’re for Easter! How could you not know malted milk balls are for Easter?
Me: Because I’m Jewish so my only experience with malted milk balls is that of utter disappointment when finding a box of Whoppers in my Halloween candy.
Wife: Whatever, I want some.
Then we went to Easter and she was all tired after and just wanted to get home, then later we went for a walk, and then later she remembered the goddamn malted milk balls.
Wife: We forgot to go to Walgreen’s!
Me: At this point all that stuff will be half price in about 6 hours.
Wife: But then it won’t be Easter anymore!
Me, without hesitation: I’ll go to Walgreen’s.
Wife: Really?! Why?
Me: So I can get a chance to make my wife happy.
(Inner monologue: and so you won’t be disappointed in missing out on gross malted milk balls)
Wife: That’s great! Ok I want malted milk balls and Brach’s jelly beans. Do you like marshmallow Peeps?
Me: No, they’re gross. (trying to contain my disgust at her taste in candy)
Wife: Well that’s fine I would only want those if you wanted them, thank you so much for going!
Then I went to Walgreen’s at 6:45 PM on Easter, and couldn’t find Easter malted milk balls to save my life, because for some reason they’re called Robin Eggs and come in a little milk carton.
I got the tropical Brach’s jelly beans because I figured since the tropical Starbursts are clearly the best Starbursts then perhaps the same would apply to the jelly beans, and they had vaguely Easter-y colors on the bag, which I could sell as Easter candy.
Then I got 4 of the bigass Russell Stover marshmallow caramel eggs so she could have something marshmallow-y even if it was not in disgusting yellow sugar covered form.
She was happy, and then she offered me some stupid Robin’s Eggs, which I (hopefully) politely turned down.
The marshmallow caramel eggs are awesome though. Might have to pick up some more of those now that they’re going to be half off.
"Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero" (sampsonite24)
04/17/2017 at 09:42, STARS: 0
my MIL bought me draft beer flavored jelly bellys, still havnt had the heart to try them
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
04/17/2017 at 22:43, STARS: 0
I won’t forget this.
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
04/17/2017 at 23:07, STARS: 0
"Svart Smart, traded in his Smart" (svartsmart)
04/17/2017 at 23:20, STARS: 0
Agreed.