by "PS9" (PS9)
Published 04/01/2017 at 12:21
by "PS9" (PS9)
Published 04/01/2017 at 12:21
Tags: buttmouth heavy industries
STARS: 11
Subaru announced today that a BRZ STi - like, a real one with turbo and everything - will be introduced for the 2018 model year. It will lack AWD, but it will feature a new version of the famous boxer 4. More details about the announcement are contained in a press release issued by the company’s chairman and CEO, which you can read below.
April 1, 2017
HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU GODDAMNED PEOPLE
Goddamnit. Seriously, god-motherfucking-damnit. Fine. Okay? Fine. It’s faster now. You can leave me alone now, christ.
*sigh* look. I’m not angry at everyone. I know most of you didn’t engage in this... enthusiastic ...behavior. But Jesus Mohammed Ali on a pretzel stick, was that really called for? 3000 texts a day? And I don’t even want to know how you motherfuckers got my goddamned phone number the five separate times I changed it . Did 20 of you really have to follow me around everywhere? At the store? At the car wash? At the Bar? Even at the fucking doctors? During my goddamned colonoscopy? Really? Really? Hey, you know what wives do when a random stranger with a ‘Make BRZ Fast Again’ protest sign pops up in the bedroom window while they’re trying to have sexy time with their husbands? THEY STOP HAVING SEX!! WITH ANYONE!! FOREVER!!! IT’S GREAT, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO TRY IT IMMEDIATELY!!!!
*sigh* Okay. Deep breaths. Remember. Captain of the ship. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Alright. Back to business.
You wanted a fucking turbo in the fucking car, so we’re putting a fucking turbo in the fucking car, so you can fucking stop motherfucking fucking with me already motherfuckers. That good enough? It better be. You know Mazda killed the rotary the other day? How about you go ruin that company and leave mine alone now?
From the desk of
Tomomi Nakamura
"for Michigan" (formichigan)
04/01/2017 at 12:26, STARS: 6
I understand why people want more power in the BRZ. I don’t understand the people who think it should be turbo’d and AWD. In that case why not just get a WRX?
"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
04/01/2017 at 12:33, STARS: 3
Wait. Mazda killed the rotary? *lights pitchforks*
"marshknute" (marshknute)
04/01/2017 at 12:34, STARS: 2
I’ve never heard people ask for an AWD version, but it damn well should have a turbo option considering the WRX engine is literally a turbo’ed version of the BRZ motor.
That said, I learned the hard way that the WRX’s engine suffers from catastrophic overboosting issues, so it’s useless as a track car unless you void the warranty and tune the shit out of the ECU.
"for Michigan" (formichigan)
04/01/2017 at 12:40, STARS: 3
I’d rather have more displacement and a better NA powerband than the WRX’s turbo. In a 2700 lb car, a bigger H4 or small H6 with 200-250 hp/lb-ft would be more than enough to get you in trouble.
"Steve in Manhattan" (blogenfreude01)
04/01/2017 at 13:07, STARS: 1
Oh stop it ... light the torches! Pitchforks burn for what? ... a minute, maybe two?
"Steve in Manhattan" (blogenfreude01)
04/01/2017 at 13:19, STARS: 0
This is, if you ask me, likely to suffer the fate of the SS - enthusiasts clamor for it, then only a few buy it. Then it goes away. My last car was an ‘97 SHO, purchased in part b/c manufacturers need to know when they do it right. And, to be fair, I didn’t fit into a Mustang GT 5M convertible, they car I went in to buy. But the SHO was a big GT-ish car and I put nearly 100K on it before I moved here. And I’m glad I did.
"interstate366, now In The Industry" (interstate366)
04/01/2017 at 13:23, STARS: 2
I would do bad, bad things for a BRZ with a flat 6. Especially with an exhaust on it.
"for Michigan" (formichigan)
04/01/2017 at 13:41, STARS: 2
3.0L H6 making about 270 hp, slightly wider wheels and tires around Performance Pack Brembos, and a tastefully-audible dual exhaust.
"jovimon7" (jovimon7)
04/01/2017 at 14:35, STARS: 0
Haha April fooled nobody LOL
"interstate366, now In The Industry" (interstate366)
04/01/2017 at 14:55, STARS: 1
That would be perfect. Budget Cayman, with an orgasmic exhaust note.
"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
04/01/2017 at 20:27, STARS: 0
Subaru already as a 3.6 H6...
Toyota created the Supra by shoving a 6 cyl into it’s sports coupe. Hmmm...
Unfortunately suby would need to squeeze at LEAST 60hp (320hp total) out of the outback’s H6 to satisfy people.
"interstate366, now In The Industry" (interstate366)
04/01/2017 at 22:06, STARS: 0
Has anyone tried fitting the 3.6 into one yet?