by "bwp240" (bwp240)
Published 04/01/2017 at 11:53
by "bwp240" (bwp240)
Published 04/01/2017 at 11:53
Tags: April Fools
STARS: 1
Yes, it is time to finally admit it. No matter how much of an enthusiast you are, it is time to admit that cars are mere appliances. They are tools, used by us to accomplish tasks, and nothing more. I know it is difficult to say that, but it is true. So is this it? Is car enthusiasm now dead? What is the point if you are telling me my Scion iQ is no different than my dishwasher?
Well, while trying to make a smoothie in my washing machine, I realized something. Some appliances are not meant to do certain tasks. There is no single appliance that can do everything. My washing machine cannot make a smoothie, my toaster cannot dry my clothes, and my microwave cannot brew my coffee. I need different appliances for these tasks, I cannot merely survive on one.
So if cars are appliances, then I need a variety of machines to do different tasks, right? My Scion iQ is great for getting me to and from work, but it cannot carry more than 2 people. That isn’t good for picking up kids from school or hitting the local town with friends, a small sedan would be great for that.
But a small sedan cannot carry large furniture, therefore, I need a small pickup truck.
My pickup truck doesn’t perform well on long road trips and my iQ and small sedan are not the best suited, therefore I need a family traveler of some sort that gets decent mileage.
Some appliances are seasonal, like my snow cone maker. I like to have that in the summer, so as a personal luxury appliance, I’ll get a convertible sports car.
But if my family wants to go camping and I find that my small pickup truck cannot move the camper, I need a bigger pickup truck
Like my old appliances, my old truck will go into the cupboard to sit for the next 20 years only to be given to my children for their first apartment.
Many people try to buy cars that can do everything they need. This stigma makes one think that a car is a simple machine that gets from A to B. But if people actually treated cars as appliances, then one car cannot simply complete all of the possible tasks. They need multiple cars to complete different kinds of tasks.
So perhaps, only car enthusiasts should treat cars as appliances?
Happy April Fools!
"itschrome" (itschrome)
04/01/2017 at 12:13, STARS: 0
So your saying this is best car because it litterally does everything you mentioned? Smoothies included..
"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
04/01/2017 at 12:15, STARS: 2
If you think dryer-warm hoodies are awesome, just wait until you try toasting them.
"Funktheduck" (funktheduck)
04/01/2017 at 12:16, STARS: 0
Why stop at toast? Stick in oven around 375 for 20 minutes
"My X-type is too a real Jaguar" (TomSlick)
04/01/2017 at 12:17, STARS: 0
Bugatti Appliance
"bwp240" (bwp240)
04/01/2017 at 13:03, STARS: 0
It’s a car I can poop in!
"bwp240" (bwp240)
04/01/2017 at 13:04, STARS: 0
At it’s highest setting, it will use 26.4 MW of electricity in 12 minutes
"Maxima Speed" (maximaspeed)
04/01/2017 at 13:05, STARS: 0
Does everything, with style.
"My bird IS the word" (mybirdistheword)
04/01/2017 at 13:32, STARS: 0
You are thinking about this all wrong. If cars are now appliances, we need to turn more appliances into cars.
"Urambo Tauro" (urambotauro)
04/01/2017 at 20:20, STARS: 0
It’s Time For Us To Admit That Not All Appliances Are Boring
"bwp240" (bwp240)
04/01/2017 at 20:43, STARS: 0
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/fd1107c6-403e-4f9f-bb37-52df3e2190d6
"Ispeaksarcasm" (ispeaksarcasm)
04/02/2017 at 07:13, STARS: 0
With how sterile most of honda and toyota’s offerings have been the past decade, it would seem that many also believe this. The dash mounted gear selector in the Prius that is the diameter of a quarter and made of cheap blue translucent plastic mounted with a plastic rod in a flimsy mechanism comes to mind. It seems like you could snap it off with one hand. Seems more suited to a walmart brand microwave than a car. The interior is petulantly boring aside from the stupid display that shows essentially useless info that constantly distracts people who already seem to loathe (and suck at) driving.
"NJAnon" (NJAnon)
04/03/2017 at 23:45, STARS: 0
Unfortunately bwp240 that theory can’t work to exact parameters you mention. So yes it would be nice to have 6 different vechicles for use, my income says otherwise & thats why you see people living in their 1 Mercedes Benz.