Just renewed my Oppo Gold Elite Membership!

by "OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
Published 03/28/2017 at 14:27

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STARS: 8

If you haven’t renewed yours this is also a reminder to get that done before your free Starter Oppo Gold Elite Membership runs out! To renew simply send $5 USD to @jakley77 on Venmo with the Title “Oppo Gold Elite Membership Renewal”.

The $5 deal is worth one year or you can get two years for just $7.50 USD!!!

Renew today!

All proceeds from renewal go towards restocking the beer in the Oppo Basement, dog food for Gibbs, and towards not feeding TheHondBro after 9pm Eastern.

And a brown, manual, “wagon” for your time.

Replies (37)

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/28/2017 at 14:29, STARS: 0

This is a scam! Everyone knows you send your Jalopnik Gold money to me. I am Oppo’s self-appointed accountant.

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
03/28/2017 at 14:30, STARS: 0

Please remember to mail all checks to the Oppo World HQ in Sacramento

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/28/2017 at 14:32, STARS: 0

I thought our headquarters were in N. Korea.

"MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s" (mastermario)
03/28/2017 at 14:32, STARS: 0

I would like a refund, this product was misrepresented.

You can send me cash.

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
03/28/2017 at 14:34, STARS: 0

Get on my level!

I paid for a lifetime membership.

"duurtlang" (duurtlang)
03/28/2017 at 14:34, STARS: 0

You’re a bit early. Gold memberships can only be purchased next Saturday.

"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
03/28/2017 at 14:34, STARS: 1

Psshhh. I am 43 days away from having a degree from THE University of Tennessee that says Accounting.

"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
03/28/2017 at 14:35, STARS: 0

The Accounting numbers don’t say so Calzone. Please try again.

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/28/2017 at 14:35, STARS: 3

I’d rather have Dat Boi as the accountant than you.

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
03/28/2017 at 14:36, STARS: 0

*fwds an email receipt*

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
03/28/2017 at 14:37, STARS: 0

Nope, we’re a member of #HornetNation

"CB" (jrcb)
03/28/2017 at 14:39, STARS: 0

Clearly a scam. Everyone knows there’s no beer in the Oppo basment, only terrors beyond your imagination.

"itschrome" (itschrome)
03/28/2017 at 14:40, STARS: 1

I tried to get my gold but I dunno what I did wrong. Now I keep getting subscription confirmations from blue apron and there’s some old lady texting me inappropriate photos.

"BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo" (bluemazda2)
03/28/2017 at 14:48, STARS: 0

O shit waddup

"BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo" (bluemazda2)
03/28/2017 at 14:50, STARS: 0

Can I still renew my Oppo Platinum Membership, or has it been discontinued?

If not...

Sad!

Also, if I go for Gold, do I still get a signed copy of the JKM seal of approval as my subscription bonus?

"R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet" (r-saldana)
03/28/2017 at 14:52, STARS: 1

In all honesty, when I returned from my 2nd AFG “trip” I read about everyone saying this and thought that I for real had to pay for Jalopnik/oppo service if i wanted to continue being in the thread.

"Viggen" (viggen37)
03/28/2017 at 14:54, STARS: 0

But I just renewed my Jalopnik Gold Prime for 15 years!

"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
03/28/2017 at 15:06, STARS: 1

JKM will never give you a seal of approval. Only other options of trucks to buy.

"Shamoononon drives like a farmer" (shamoononon)
03/28/2017 at 15:07, STARS: 0

Sent 5$ in used silicon... ducks.

"BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo" (bluemazda2)
03/28/2017 at 15:09, STARS: 1

If you need signed copies of an Opponaut’s prestigious seal of approval as a subscription bonus, let me know. It beats a free toaster.

"haveacarortwoorthree2" (haveacarortwoorthree2)
03/28/2017 at 15:12, STARS: 0

Announcing class action lawsuit against purveyors of Oppo Gold Elite memberships: The law firm of Screwem Goode has announced the filing of a class action lawsuit against the sellers of Oppo Gold Elite memberships. Through extensive investigation, Screwem Goode has learned that the sellers actually are not providing any value in exchange of the purchase of said memberships. Screwem Goode intends to seek the return of every $5 membership sold, as well as $1.2 billion in legal fees.

"Bad Idea Hat" (taoistlumberjack)
03/28/2017 at 15:12, STARS: 1

I didn’t renew my gold elite membership, and was subsequently shot down by a helicopter that was not Airwolf.

"jvirgs drives a Subaru" (jvirgs)
03/28/2017 at 16:02, STARS: 0

Psshhh, I’ve got the license to prove it 

"BvdV - The Dutch Engineer" (dutchengineer)
03/28/2017 at 16:27, STARS: 0

Wait, so driving an underpowered car around Spa and the Nürburgring within the same weekend doesn’t grant me a free extension of my Gold Elite Membership? Damn...

"TheRevanchist" (therevanchist)
03/28/2017 at 16:29, STARS: 0

I once gave Jan Michael Vincent a ride to a bar. I have no regrets and he didn’t either at that time.

"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
03/28/2017 at 16:33, STARS: 1

You get a discount to $2.50 USD or 1,000,000 Yen. Whatever currency you prefer.

"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
03/28/2017 at 16:54, STARS: 1

Please report back with how many OPPOs actually sent you money.

Completely unrelated: what’s the smallest amount you can send someone on Venmo?

"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
03/28/2017 at 16:58, STARS: 0

I don’t think there is a minimum amount but so far no one has supported my beer fund sadly. :(

"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
03/28/2017 at 17:12, STARS: 0

Don’t give up hope!

"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
03/28/2017 at 17:17, STARS: 1

I just need $ to buy some more beer to enjoy after my test on Thursday haha.

"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
03/28/2017 at 17:43, STARS: 0

Good luck (with the test and the $ and the beer)!

"wafflesnfalafel" (wafflesnfalafel1)
03/28/2017 at 21:09, STARS: 1

I believe that gets you access to the super special oppo lounge with unlimited wifi concierge service

"SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie" (sidewaysondirt)
03/29/2017 at 19:11, STARS: 0

We don’t talk about the Oppo basement...

"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
03/29/2017 at 20:21, STARS: 0

That’s where I’ve been keeping my beer though..

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
03/30/2017 at 16:09, STARS: 0

But wouldn’t the Oppo basement be so much nicer if it had beer?

"CB" (jrcb)
03/30/2017 at 16:28, STARS: 1

Nope.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
03/30/2017 at 16:28, STARS: 1

:(