European stereotypes of Americans are totally unfair and outdated, and I won't rest until --

by "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
Published 03/27/2017 at 15:53

Tags: Now with even more fat sauce!
STARS: 15

... Oh.

Replies (37)

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/27/2017 at 15:58, STARS: 0

I picked up Sbubby on my way home from Marysville.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
03/27/2017 at 15:58, STARS: 0

Did you go to the outlet malls or something?

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/27/2017 at 15:59, STARS: 1

I have plenty of outlets at home, I don’t need to go to Marysville for outlets.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
03/27/2017 at 16:00, STARS: 0

Your question dodging is offensive to my triggers

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
03/27/2017 at 16:00, STARS: 1

I had bacon jelly once. It was not pleasant.

"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
03/27/2017 at 16:00, STARS: 2

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
03/27/2017 at 16:03, STARS: 1

Amazing calorie density.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Serving Size (G)260.62

Calories 902.28

Calories From Fat535.33

Total Fat (G)59.48

Saturated Fat (G)24.76

Trans Fat (G)1.82

Cholesterol (MG)143.08

Sodium (MG)1379.83

Potassium (MG)446.94

Carbohydrates (G)49.88

Dietary Fiber (G)3.65

Sugars (G)12.07

Protein (G)42.09

"Tripper" (tripe46)
03/27/2017 at 16:04, STARS: 0

haha ew

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
03/27/2017 at 16:04, STARS: 0

“Now with bacon butter.”

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
03/27/2017 at 16:04, STARS: 2

It has more sugar than a bowl of frosted mini wheats.

"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
03/27/2017 at 16:05, STARS: 2

I’m in the mood for a Weedy’s old fashioned hurgusburgus now.

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
03/27/2017 at 16:05, STARS: 3

They have to add sugar to offset the ludicrous amount of sodium.

"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
03/27/2017 at 16:06, STARS: 2

That’s because a serving size of mini wheats is like 13 of them

"jimz" (jimz)
03/27/2017 at 16:07, STARS: 2

Meanwhile, in Japan:

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
03/27/2017 at 16:10, STARS: 1

Ur face

"RPM esq." (rpm3)
03/27/2017 at 16:12, STARS: 1

wheezing*

"Dru" (therealkennyd)
03/27/2017 at 16:12, STARS: 3

Yea they do love to remind us of our poor diet...while chain smoking half a pack of cigarettes.

"Klaus Schmoll" (klausschmoll)
03/27/2017 at 16:20, STARS: 0

You should have seen the F 150 that finished its lap shortly after us. The brakes were smoking like a barbecue pit. I have never seen anything like that before. And that was my American stereotype of the weekend.

We also got food at some exclusive to Belgium fast food chain (Quick) and I got the “Big Bacon”, which was really, really tasty. I’ve also made bacon-only burgers at home. Does that mean that I’m a closeted ‘murrican like Hammond?

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
03/27/2017 at 16:21, STARS: 1

I had a heart attack just reading that.

"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
03/27/2017 at 16:24, STARS: 0

You should have the Tercel checked for exhaust leaks.

<3

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
03/27/2017 at 16:27, STARS: 3

Only 59% of calories from fat? How cute. Sincerely, Avocado. PS: and I ’ m a fruit, too!

"Spoon II" (Spoon_II)
03/27/2017 at 16:28, STARS: 0

"RazoE" (razoe)
03/27/2017 at 16:31, STARS: 0

I’m not a patriot in any sense, but all of a sudden I start riding bald eagles and waving flags when I hear another country or continent or whatever judging us.

"duurtlang" (duurtlang)
03/27/2017 at 16:39, STARS: 0

It wasn’t just an F150, it was a Raptor. It got overtaken by 100 hp cars. Interesting to me was how the driver seemed to have enjoyed a lot of bacon butter in his life.

The picture quality is a bit poor, but you can see the smoke coming from his brakes. To those who didn’t witness it: yes that’s coming from his brakes (or his wheel wells at least), it is not coming from the BMW in front of it.

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
03/27/2017 at 16:39, STARS: 0

On our recent honeymoon to St. Martin, I explained to my wife the concept of “ ugly Americans .”

We’re Americans who try very much to experience a place without coming off as obnoxious tourist. You can still be a tourist while trying to get into the flow of a place and being nice to the locals.

We were always very nice to everyone we interacted with but because of the stereotypes about Americans, at some point it’s like you default into this mode of, “yes I have an American accent, no I will not be an asshole to you, I promise.”

Because they’re so used to Americans being one of two categories:

1. One of the days there, we camped out at a beach restaurant a couple blocks from our Airbnb, where you can use the chairs and umbrellas as long as you like if you’re buying drinks. A little power boat tour pulled up and out spewed 4 or 5 loud, drunk, fat, sunburned obnoxious Americans who tramped up the steps from the beach to the bar. I happened to go up shortly after them and I shit you not, one of the dudes says to the other, “I GOTTA GET A PICTURE OF THIS, THE COORS LIGHT TASTES JUST LIKE AT HOME!”

2. The cruise ship crowd.

Our Airbnb happened to be across the street from the main public parking lot and tour bus stop in the little town where we stayed. The crowds exiting the tour buses were too stereotypical to not get a picture.

"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
03/27/2017 at 16:43, STARS: 3

All of that and only 902 calories..that’s actually kind of impressive.

"user314" (user314)
03/27/2017 at 16:44, STARS: 0

But, it’s bacon, onions, brown sugar and vinegar, how can that be bad?

"PotbellyJoe and 42 others" (potbellyjoe)
03/27/2017 at 16:45, STARS: 1

"PotbellyJoe and 42 others" (potbellyjoe)
03/27/2017 at 16:47, STARS: 1

"gin-san - shitpost specialist" (gin-san-)
03/27/2017 at 16:55, STARS: 0

Bacon butter? Good lord. A double cheeseburger with fries is an awesome indulgence for me, but triple bacon with extra fat for no reason? I’m pretty sure I just got some arterial plaque buildup from seeing this photo.

"TorqueToYield" (torquetoyield)
03/27/2017 at 16:57, STARS: 0

During the Bush era I would routinely tell people I was Canadian while travelling abroad if anybody asked. It was a pretty common thing to do.

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
03/27/2017 at 16:59, STARS: 0

I though the only fast food available in Belgium was waffles and variations of waffles. And frits, lots of frits maybe with battered fish, or maybe with mussles.

"AfromanGTO" (afromangto)
03/27/2017 at 16:59, STARS: 0

Triple bacon with bacon butter. Damn, that’s a fuckton of cholesterol.

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
03/27/2017 at 17:28, STARS: 0

Right?

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
03/27/2017 at 17:38, STARS: 0

NO

"Spoon II" (Spoon_II)
03/27/2017 at 20:07, STARS: 0

Especially after you eat it!

"BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires" (biturbo228)
03/28/2017 at 04:51, STARS: 0

It’s this and squeezy cheese in a tube that are really giving you guys a bad name...