Please Take This College Survey About Fun Alcohol I Had To Make

by "Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
Published 03/15/2017 at 11:19

Tags: Survey ; NYC ; Firetruck ; BMW
STARS: 3

What is up Oppositelock? I’m back with another college survey! This time it’s for a marketing class. It’s about booze.

Yes, that is right, I am a disgusting, no-good, brand-washed marketing major piece of trash, and now I would like you to take part in a product plan survey the education establishment has forced me to develop, which I am told will help me penultimately achieve an average job and live out an average life, if it doesn’t end in nuclear war by graduation in December.

Full Disclosure : The following survey will ask you to confirm your general age range, as it is indeed about alcoholic beverages. If you are over 21, please indicate as such.

The survey will go on to question your drinking habits and your history with a real beverage known as Capri Sun. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, I understand. This survey is not a requirement, you are simply helping me out!

Your answers are private, and you will not have to provide any identifying information.

>>HERE IS THE SURVEY YOU CLICK THIS HERE<<

>>HERE IS THE SURVEY YOU CLICK THIS HERE<<

>>HERE IS THE SURVEY YOU CLICK THIS HERE<<

Thank you for your time, here is some Spring Break Trip carntent:

Replies (55)

"Funktheduck" (funktheduck)
03/15/2017 at 11:26, STARS: 0

I took it. No where’s my money?

"E90M3" (e90m3)
03/15/2017 at 11:26, STARS: 2

Done.

Also that picture of the e30 makes me really want one.

"Trevor Slattery, ACTOR" (anacostiabikecompany)
03/15/2017 at 11:27, STARS: 0

Capri Moon? For reals?

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/15/2017 at 11:27, STARS: 0

I won’t allow myself to be peer-pressured into injecting an alcohol with you hooligans.

"Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif" (lumpy44)
03/15/2017 at 11:27, STARS: 0

Wait. Is Capri Moon a real thing?!

"Captain of the Enterprise" (justanotherdayinparadise)
03/15/2017 at 11:28, STARS: 2

You may want to change frank to the correct tense of do you ever drink alcohol instead of do you ever drank alcohol

"Tripper" (tripe46)
03/15/2017 at 11:30, STARS: 6

jk, I took the survey.

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
03/15/2017 at 11:30, STARS: 3

I feel like your survey was a little judgmental about my drinking habits by topping out at three drinks a week.

Also, there needs to be a $0 or less option for Capri Moon, because I wouldn’t drink something like that if I was being paid.

"Captain Brotatohead" (brotatobrotato)
03/15/2017 at 11:30, STARS: 0

Do you drink alcohol? Yis.

Would you drink Capri Sun alco-pop? Fuck nah brah.

Will frat brahskies createn an drink challenge similar to icing for this Capri Sun malt beverage? If they do, one can only hope it involves butt chugging.

"Scary__goongala!" (corymagee)
03/15/2017 at 11:36, STARS: 2

YES I WOULD BUY AN ALCOHOLIC CARPI MOON.

"SpeedSix" (speedsix)
03/15/2017 at 11:36, STARS: 1

Interesting - I tried to take the survey, and I’m under the legal U.S. drinking age, though I’m of the proper age in Ontario. I got “Your response has been recorded” - judgemental much?

"Scary__goongala!" (corymagee)
03/15/2017 at 11:37, STARS: 0

"Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben)
03/15/2017 at 11:38, STARS: 0

Ok I’ll take it lol

"Hooker" (Hooker)
03/15/2017 at 11:47, STARS: 0

Gah, I’m comfortably in the 31-40 age range. Thanks for making me depressed this morning.

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/15/2017 at 11:48, STARS: 0

It is not. Sadly.

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/15/2017 at 11:48, STARS: 0

It’s a project, but if you know somebody at Capri Sun they can email me.

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/15/2017 at 11:48, STARS: 1

ty and yes

"AfromanGTO" (afromangto)
03/15/2017 at 11:48, STARS: 2

Alcoholic capri suns!!!!!!

In the past I have seen people use pedialyte as a mixer. lol

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/15/2017 at 11:49, STARS: 0

Sorey aboot that, US market only for now.

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/15/2017 at 11:53, STARS: 0

This was not run through me before initializing but I will send a note ‘up the chain’ of my group, thank you.

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/15/2017 at 11:53, STARS: 0

Not real, sorry.

"Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif" (lumpy44)
03/15/2017 at 11:54, STARS: 1

"Wheelerguy" (wheelerguy)
03/15/2017 at 11:54, STARS: 0

But I don’t drink, and I’m not sure I can because I have congenital heart disease. What I do?

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/15/2017 at 11:57, STARS: 0

If we don’t fuck this up we have full intentions of at least emailing some folks.

"SpeedSix" (speedsix)
03/15/2017 at 11:57, STARS: 1

Guess I can invalidate your survey with unreliable answers now!

Mwahahaha!

"My bird IS the word" (mybirdistheword)
03/15/2017 at 12:15, STARS: 0

This is an odd branding exercise. Lol

"Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)" (galileo-humpkins)
03/15/2017 at 12:29, STARS: 0

I went to take it but got tired of watching the blue loading circle spinning around. Will try again later.

"AfromanGTO" (afromangto)
03/15/2017 at 12:37, STARS: 1

I could use it as a mixer though!

"HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles" (hondasfordsvolvo)
03/15/2017 at 12:42, STARS: 2

I work at a Gas Station and if I don’t see Capri Moon in our selves within the next 6 months I’m gonna be pissed.

"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/15/2017 at 13:29, STARS: 0

I wasn’t going to do this, but you hooked me with the Jeep Gladiator photo. My response has been recorded.

"Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell." (oppisitelock)
03/15/2017 at 13:33, STARS: 0

Responded. Like capri sun, but I like my alcohol to have a strong alcohol taste, so it’s not for me.

"Funktheduck" (funktheduck)
03/15/2017 at 13:43, STARS: 0

I have one. Jelly?

"E90M3" (e90m3)
03/15/2017 at 14:04, STARS: 0

Little bit.

"CaptDale - is secretly British" (captdale)
03/15/2017 at 17:07, STARS: 1

I think that’d be mighty tasty

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/15/2017 at 17:20, STARS: 1

it’s very complicated! and also definitely not happening in six months

"HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles" (hondasfordsvolvo)
03/15/2017 at 17:28, STARS: 0

Boo

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
03/15/2017 at 22:26, STARS: 0

ummm... who the hell drinks fruit flavored malt beverages?

"atfsgeoff" (atfsgeoff)
03/15/2017 at 23:02, STARS: 0

I threw off your numbers because while I have consumed alcohol in the distant past, I haven’t bought or consumed more than a tiny sip of alcohol in almost 15 years. So yes, I’ve had capri sun, yes I liked it, no I would not likely ever buy an alcoholic beverage from them (or anyone else).

Not through any fault of Capri Sun’s though.

"Svart Smart, traded in his Smart" (svartsmart)
03/16/2017 at 00:15, STARS: 0

Done.

"Svart Smart, traded in his Smart" (svartsmart)
03/16/2017 at 00:16, STARS: 1

That sounds vile. And hilarious.

"Carwood" (Carwood)
03/16/2017 at 02:19, STARS: 0

Ugh, that Jeep.

"Sweet Trav" (thespunbearing)
03/16/2017 at 09:05, STARS: 0

Malt beverages are the worst. Whisky, Beer, and on occasion in Mexico Tequilla.

"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
03/16/2017 at 09:11, STARS: 0

Capri Moon sounds terrible, and thank you for making me feel old. Also if you ever see how they transport concentrate, you’d never drink that shit again. We used to clean the freezers with a barrel of minute maid concentrate, just basically kick it over and go in with scrub brooms and safety gear.

Edit: the industry slang for Capri sun/hi-c ECT.. is “belly wash”.

"boredalways" (boredalway666)
03/16/2017 at 10:29, STARS: 0

Can’t wait to see drunk college ladies on Capri Moon & Red Bull.

#Imgettingtooldforthisshit

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/16/2017 at 11:47, STARS: 0

This is great! You represent millions of consumers, so we have to keep you in mind!

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/16/2017 at 11:49, STARS: 0

Answer honestly! I suppose we should have added an “Does Not Consume” option, but you can select the “less than once a week” option. We want a general survey, which should include those who don’t or can’t try the product.

"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
03/16/2017 at 11:50, STARS: 1

College students! My mother!

"AfromanGTO" (afromangto)
03/16/2017 at 12:17, STARS: 1

No hangovers for either! Woot woot!

"Nibby" (nibby68)
03/16/2017 at 12:29, STARS: 0

yo there needs to be a “haven’t had caprisun in 15 years” option

"Wheelerguy" (wheelerguy)
03/16/2017 at 12:38, STARS: 0

Fine and dandy. But it’s 12:38am here in Manila. I’ll come back to this in the morning.

"RPM esq." (rpm3)
03/16/2017 at 13:44, STARS: 1

Future diabetics.

"Bourbon&JellyBeans" (bourbonandjellybeans)
03/16/2017 at 13:47, STARS: 0

“Capri Sun the whole family can enjoy.” You may be on to something.

Thanks for making me feel like an alcoholic though.

"Shamoononon drives like a farmer" (shamoononon)
03/16/2017 at 13:50, STARS: 0

51 and older is all the same to you?!

"Shamoononon drives like a farmer" (shamoononon)
03/16/2017 at 13:52, STARS: 0

Also, I chose grape because that sounds disgusting.

"Danger" (dangerray)
03/16/2017 at 14:48, STARS: 0

In Puerto Rico they had alcoholic capri sun pouches called Gasolina. Cheap Tequila, Rum, etc. mixed with fruit flavorings. Pretty rough, but good for mixing, and very popular after work with people driving home. It’s legal for passengers to drink, so I have enjoyed a few.