by "Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve)
Published 03/10/2017 at 15:49
by "Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve)
Published 03/10/2017 at 15:49
Tags: NOT CAR RELATED
STARS: 18
A friend of mine committed suicide this week. I hadn’t seen him since 1996 but he was one of the few people I hung out with all the time in the summer of ‘93 and ‘94. I remember bombing around Somerset county, PA, in his ‘79 Firebird and later ‘87 Civic hatch.
He introduced me to all kinds of music - including one of my favorite bands, Bad Religion. Hanging out at his mom’s place, getting drunk for the first time, having silly teenage adventures, and all kinds of other things you do from age 14-16.
Whenever I was out and about with someone who wasn’t family, it was with him and a few others.
I wish I had kept in touch more.
But the refreshing honesty...
In his obituary, they said “Jason lost his lifelong battle with bipolar depression.”
They acknowledged that he succumbed to a mental illness. I honestly don’t know if I can handle any pontificating about depression or suicide from people who haven’t dealt with chronic mental illness.
I’ve been in that place before. If you haven’t, you can’t understand. I don’t want you to understand, but don’t judge.
If you need help, remember that you’re not alone. Call the national suicide prevention lifeline. 1-800-273-8255
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
03/10/2017 at 15:52, STARS: 1
I have relatives with bipolar disorder. It can wreck your life, and seriously make you want to end it. No judgement from me. Just sympathy.
"CB" (jrcb)
03/10/2017 at 15:55, STARS: 0
I’m sorry for your loss, Steve. As I get older (I’m still pretty young), I’m noticing the thing you mentioned about drifting apart from people you used to spend all your time with. It’s a bit of a bummer, but realizing it makes you hang out with people you haven’t seen in years. Hell, in December I met up with some guys I hadn’t seen in four years, but I previously saw almost every day.
"Laurence" (mrlaurence)
03/10/2017 at 15:57, STARS: 0
I’m really sorry for your loss. Sounded like he was a great guy too. My condolences to all of his family
"Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve)
03/10/2017 at 15:57, STARS: 1
My wife has bipolar disorder type II. She takes a handful of psychiatric medications every day just to stay functional enough to work. She sees her psychiatrist and therapist regularly.
It’s difficult and frustrating because your conscious self has to battle against the things your brain says.
"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch)
03/10/2017 at 15:59, STARS: 1
Sorry. Depression is no joke. scares the crap out of me because I’ve been to dark places in my life too.
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
03/10/2017 at 15:59, STARS: 0
I’ve seen it derail careers entirely because sometimes no combination of medications can make one consistently functional. I’m glad your wife is able to keep going and is able to stay on top of it, even if just enough.
"crowmolly" (crowmolly)
03/10/2017 at 16:03, STARS: 0
So sorry for your loss, Steve.
"Justin Hughes" (justinhughes54)
03/10/2017 at 16:07, STARS: 1
Starred for the refreshing honesty. I’ve been in that place before too. I see nothing wrong for calling it what it is.
"WilliamsSW" (williamssw)
03/10/2017 at 16:08, STARS: 0
My sincere condolences. It is really refreshing to hear how they handled the obituary - I think we would make more progress against mental illness if we, as a people, treated it in those terms more regularly. And yeah, no pontificating on depression - I’ve been there, and being judgmental is about the LEAST helpful thing anyone can do. It’s impossible to truly know how others feel, and what they’re going through.
"Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition" (realasabass)
03/10/2017 at 16:17, STARS: 1
As someone who deals with bipolar in myself and my mother, thanks for the post. It helps re-affirm that this disease can kill us, and lets others know what unchecked mental illness can accomplish. I just am getting out of a manic phase that has been going on since October. I have put major strain on my marriage and other friendships in the past months, and am lucky that these people still talk to me at all.
Moment by moment.
"Svend" (svend)
03/10/2017 at 16:22, STARS: 0
I’ve had depression since as far back as I can remember.
When people ask about it and tried methods of ending it, they come up with some great questions and some god awful ridiculous questions.
But trying to explain that in that moment or times when things are getting to that point none of those questions enter your head. Even glaringly obvious stuff ceases to be obvious.
There is so much to say, so many questions and so many answers.
Few will make sense at this time.
I’m sorry to hear of your friend’s passing.
Just keep remembering the good times and the who he was and what he meant to you.
It’s said we live once but die twice, first, when we leave this mortal coil, the second, when we cease to be a memory of those left behind.
"this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata" (fantastic-mr-foxbody)
03/10/2017 at 16:35, STARS: 1
Bipolar myself, something like 6 years into trying to find the right treatment combination. Thanks for sharing this. It’s really important that mental illness is treated the same way as other chronic, potentially deadly diseases.
It can be hard to understand that because the effects are so hidden, but it really is no different from something like cancer, except that it attacks the brain instead of the physical body. When society treats it like a disease that needs to be treated, people feel comfortable seeking treatment and asking for the help they need. When society separates out diseases of the mind as something other than an illness, something to be ashamed of, something that somehow has to do with a personal shortcoming... those suffering don’t want to admit what’s wrong (for good reason), avoid diagnosis at all costs, and therefore don’t get the treatment they need.
"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
03/10/2017 at 16:53, STARS: 0
Hey man, thank you for sharing this. (My father is from Somerset, BTW...)
I deal with depression myself, but it’s relatively mild. My daughter’s is much worse, but she is managing her life with it.
My wife’s brother took his own life 6 years ago, though his issues were less to do with depression and more to do with not wanting to be a burden. As well, he’d likely made a mistake and was anticipating a drawn-out legal battle. It’s a sad thing and we miss him very much.
Nothing but love for you, Bro.
"Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell." (oppisitelock)
03/10/2017 at 17:18, STARS: 2
As someone who suffers from issues with mental health, anything that helps destigmatise it is important. Many won’t even seek help until it’s too late, due to the attitudes around admitting you need help. It shows strength to admit you’re poorly and need a helping hand, not weakness.
"PotbellyJoe and 42 others" (potbellyjoe)
03/10/2017 at 18:13, STARS: 1
Not pontificating...
1. Sorry for your loss. I too lost a friend to suicide due to poorly medicated/treated bipolar disorder. She, at the time, was the love of my life. She killed herself 15 minutes after talking to me, giving me no hints other than her being, “Good, but not great” when I asked her how she was. Her family stopped talking to me 3 years later. I think partially as their “healing” they disassociated with me so they could comfortably blame me while not having to face it as much. She was their oldest child. This happened 17 years ago and I still carry her picture in my wallet. My wife of 8+ years knows the pain Katie caused in my life, the dark places it took me. She’s understanding of it, and it has gotten better over the years as time heals the wounds (but leaves scars.)
2. I have volunteered for suicide prevention groups both when I was in college and before I had kids. It’s vital that people are aware of the support that is available.
3. Even in all of this I have never been able to reconcile the selfishness that is suicide. I don’t mean that as the terrible insult it reads as, but more as the mindset you’re in when you consider the act. I have been there, sitting on a bridge looking at an exit sign 80 feet below. You don’t think of others, just your pain. That pain is passed on to everyone you love and who loves you if one does decide to follow through.
I lost a family friend to suicide last week. The family is shattered.
I hope in all of this you can be a light in the darkness for other friends who would be impacted by your friend’s death.
"Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve)
03/10/2017 at 21:36, STARS: 2
I honestly bristled when you referred to the “selfishness that is suicide.”
Because it isn’t about your pain. It’s about the genuine belief that the world and your loved ones would be better off without you. Because when you’re in that mindset, you don’t see your value or the pain it causes others. You genuinely feel that you’re a burden on all those who care. I’m sorry, but you’re wrong on that point. More often than not, The person who is contemplating suicide genuinely believes their death will be a relief to the people who care for them.
Consider that.
"nermal" (nermal)
03/10/2017 at 22:04, STARS: 0
Sorry to hear that - it’s the worst way to lose somebody.
"PotbellyJoe and 42 others" (potbellyjoe)
03/10/2017 at 23:48, STARS: 0
I’m not disagreeing with you, like I said, I’ve been there, I’ve had the thoughts, I’ve stopped just short, I understand.
That being said, it is what it is. The mind is not rational at that point, which is why the suicidal individual needs the counseling.
Sorry to bother you with my statement, but it wasn’t meant as an insult, it was written because there’s no honest way to put it that doesn’t sugarcoat, or absolve the sickness that the brain is experiencing at that point.