by "BlythBros." (blythbros)
Published 03/05/2017 at 18:01
by "BlythBros." (blythbros)
Published 03/05/2017 at 18:01
No Tags
STARS: 24
Repost from Classic Italian Cars For Sale
Maintaining a mental inventory of the local Alfa classifieds bears a certain risk. That risk came to light last winter, when a last-minute cancellation left me in Pennsylvania without a ride or flight back to Michigan. A simple problem, unless left to my internal problem-solving model. All models are wrong; some are useful. And, when I’m left in charge of calibrating the models, they point invariably to Alfa Romeo as the answer. Cognitive bias, to put it lightly. I was going to find a cheap Alfa to get me home.
Now, I have a history of rationalizing Alfa purchases. As my first Milano Verde sat engineless in my apartment garage, I convinced myself to bring home an Alfa 164LS daily driver. That 164 made it two weeks. A year later, that same Milano Verde burned down my garage, 3 other emerging European classics, and the majority of my backyard; I was back in a Verde within 45 days. Then there was the ran when parked Alfetta GTV shipped to my garage from California. And then the ran when parked GTV-6 we towed home from Indiana. Necessary, all of them.
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I settled on a green 164 in New Jersey. One assuring phone call, a few trips to the ATM, and a ride across New Jersey with my brother later, I was plopping down $1,200 on someone else’s unfinished project. In the dark. For practical reasons, of course. Who was I to book a flight just a week in advance? Or, heaven forbid, to hire a one-way rental car?
The car made it back to Michigan, no problem, if you don’t count the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission computer system crashing at the exact moment that I was trying to pay for a temporary plate. But, its arrival to Michigan bore a major question - what to do once the car has served its intended purpose? Sell it? Let a bulletproof 164 out of my hands? Hell no. I set my sights on retaining it for Italian winter car duty.
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The 164 platform isn’t the most unlikely to see winter car use. For one, it’s effectively galvanized, unlike prior Alfas, so road salt isn’t an issue. And, the much-maligned FWD layout isn’t so rotten with a set of slim snow tires all around, as I found out. I’ve never driven an Italian car that struggled to produce heat, and the 164 is no exception.
Unfortunately, it was still a 25 year car from New Jersey. The brakes were first to go. I smelled smoke as soon as I pulled the car onto a surface street in the Cass Corridor of Detroit. Pressing on, the brake pedal went to the floor and the car continued to travel. A brake line had burst, showering the exhaust in brake fluid. In order to replace the brake line, I had to drop the (full) fuel tank onto the garage floor. Also dropped on the garage floor: ten gallons of gasoline. History did not repeat itself , thankfully. While I was replacing the brake line, I also took the time to replace all of the pads, rotors, calipers, brake hoses, and front suspension bushings. It wasn’t so much necessary as much as it was a good time to dig in. The car was already out of service, and I didn’t want any excuses when it came to stopping or changing direction.
No more than two weeks later, I overheated the car on the way home from work. I tried my luck with a replacement of all of the coolant hoses to no avail; black droplets of oil floated to the top of the coolant tank on my next drive. Bad head gaskets. The car had made it to work and back no more than 10 days and I was in deeper than I had hoped. I parked the 164 next to my garage and spent spring and summer enjoying my Milano.
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I set out to remedy the 164 in late August. Beer in hand, I pulled everything from the engine except for the engine mounts themselves. By the next day, the engine was sitting on the ground next to the car. On the engine I replaced the head gaskets, every inch of fuel hose, the water pump, timing belt and tensioner, all three v-belts, cam seals, engine mounts, and front and rear main seals. I set the valve lash, had the flywheel machined, cleaned up the valve covers, and polished the chrome intake runners. On the transmission side, I replaced the whiney transmission with a known-good used unit with fresh output shaft seals, replaced the clutch and throw-out bearing, replaced all of the shifter bushings, and replaced the trans to chassis mount. I threw in a new radiator, rebuilt the cooling fan, and repainted the fan shroud. Replaced every brake line with hand-formed. And, before reassembly, I installed a rebuilt steering rack with fresh hoses, and treated and painted any areas with surface rust. Preventative maintenance.
By October, the car should have been running. I had everything back together, but could not get the car to settle into an idle. After printing out and running through every possible Alfa 164 fuel system troubleshooting guide, I noticed that the power wire to the ECU relay was corroded beyond the point of functioning. Ah. After chasing my tail for a month I got it to idle. Progress.
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So by December, I was finally driving my Alfa Romeo to work. I would have made it straight through the winter too, but the crank position sensor wire cracked on my way home from work, forcing me to limp along the Southfield Freeway and sit the 164 out for a week while I diagnosed the issue. I stockpile Alfa parts for situations such as this, and fortunately I did have a few spare crank position sensors and leads sitting on the shelf. I try to buy parts as soon as people get fed up with storing them in their garages, and before I ever need them. Prices work in my favor that way, as parts do inevitably wear out or break.
January and February were uneventful, and with some appreciable time behind the wheel, I learned the following. It’s important to de-ice the windshield before hopping in the car, since the defroster only heats the passenger side of the windshield. Don’t bother with the radio dial - you’ll be listening to classical radio. Warm the car up for 3-5 minutes at idle every morning, wind out the gears a little with light load to get heat into the engine, and clear out the carbon once the oil is warm. The longer you hold the gear, the louder the mechanical symphony, and for those with a bit too much skin in the Alfa game, you can get the car to cackle as you tip the throttle in and out slightly. Sell your Alfa if you lose interest in the sound. The springs are weak so cornering is best achieved be easing slowly off of the gas; any braking sends the front end into a cumbersome dive. Use the entire road to make corners more bearable. Avoiding potholes is unnecessary, especially on the squishy snow tires. Fuel mileage is regrettable. Don’t overfill the fuel tank.
So, instead of buying the plane ticket, I invested in an Alfa Romeo 164. And three times that into parts. Add 100+ hours of labor to that figure as well. Where does that leave me? I won’t even begin to rationalize that. On the positive side, I got to drive a handsome Pininfarina sedan to work every day so far this year, guiding the Busso V6 through 5 gears by the mahogany shift knob. Never did I have to push on a plastic button to slide the shifter into drive. Never did I have to listen to talk radio to stay entertained. And never did I spend a second wishing that I were driving my Alfa. My coworkers hear my daily complaints about the car, and I appreciate their patient advice on the various clicks, taps, and shudders I report on every morning. There is nothing charming about a broken Alfa Romeo, yet little more rewarding than keeping one on the road, and the relief of arrival.
Please join us at Classic Italian Cars For Sale to find an Italian winter beater, track car, daily driver, collector car, or anything in between!
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"JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t" (jawzx2)
03/05/2017 at 21:09, STARS: 0
I didnt read your whole post, because walking dead, but just have to say: 164s are great in the snow ;)
"pip bip - choose Corrour" (hhgttg69)
03/06/2017 at 03:34, STARS: 0
if they were a bit cheaper and plentiful i might be tempted in one here down under.
"arl" (arl1968)
03/06/2017 at 06:18, STARS: 6
Kudos to you for all that “preventative maintenance”, you know - ripping out motors, swapping transmissions, all the easy stuff.
Good Lord man - buy a bus ticket next time!
That was a great read and I wish you all the best in your Alfa madness.
"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
03/06/2017 at 07:54, STARS: 0
I think the phrase glutton for punishment applies here.
"jasmits" (jasmits)
03/06/2017 at 09:39, STARS: 1
Aren’t they just the most lovely little pain-in-the-asses?
I only had mine for 3 months before I had to let her go(and she was only drivable for 1.5 of those) but I’ve been bitten by the Italian bug hard.
"BlythBros." (blythbros)
03/06/2017 at 09:45, STARS: 0
Oooh, an S! What issues did you have?
"BlythBros." (blythbros)
03/06/2017 at 09:46, STARS: 2
Yep, just the simple stuff. Routine, really.
"jasmits" (jasmits)
03/06/2017 at 10:18, STARS: 0
Well when I bought it(for $650) it’d been sitting for about 2 years. P/O thought the head gasket was bad(turned out not to be) because it kept overheating on him. He hadn’t had the car long before it sat, seemed like he bit off a bit more than he could chew. With fresh fluids and a battery she fired right up and actually ran pretty well. Drove like garbage(from a suspension/steering standpoint, engine was great) and the temp steadily rose when she was idling but was perfect when driving, even at 20 mph around the neighborhood. Ran her up to(and then past) temp with the hood up and noticed the electric fan never kicked on. For once, I checked the easy things first and noticed that the fuse for the fan was missing. Put that back in, and learned it was missing for a reason. I hotwired the relay for the fan so it’d come on with the car not running as was greeted by BANG BANG BANG BANG. As it turned out, when the PPO had put in an upgraded(way overkill) radiator the treads of a bolt holding a bracket with some relays to the back of the radiator(i don’t even know, so much of that car was hacked together) interfered with the fan. So he just pulled the fuse for the fan and hoped there’d never be traffic? Again, I don’t even know. I pulled out the dremel, shaved some of the bolt off and the overheating was fixed.
I then tackled the ball joints, tie rods, control arms(the bushings were shot and there was no way I could find to buy the bushings without the whole damn control arm), front wheel bearings(the driver’s side was absolutely shot and came out in pieces).
Sold it on at the end of the summer because I was about to run out of time to work on it and three cars was too many for a college student.
Tragic end: My dad was loosely in touch with the new owner(he helped me sell it because I go to school far away and didn’t get many bites before leaving). After a few more repairs to improve drivability he actually dailyed it for a few months before having a catastrophic oil pump failure on the highway and..(sobs).
"Trevor Slattery, ACTOR" (anacostiabikecompany)
03/06/2017 at 15:10, STARS: 1
My first car was a mid 70s Altetta GTV with Konis and an Ansa exhaust.
Terrible rust. Bad slave cylinder (why is the slave cylinder mount integral with the rear mounted clutch housing? WHY ALFA?) and assorted hydraulics. Spica fuel injection was a mess. But when it ran well...4,000-5,500 RPM was just SO MUCH FUN. Like driving a 4 cylinder chain saw.
"Alejandro" (amolochko)
03/08/2017 at 20:15, STARS: 1
So he just pulled the fuse for the fan and hoped there’d never be traffic? Again, I don’t even know. I pulled out the dremel, shaved some of the bolt off and the overheating was fixed.
This is just about the greatest garage story I’ve ever heard.