by "FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
Published 03/05/2017 at 03:28
by "FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
Published 03/05/2017 at 03:28
Tags: I might possibly have had a few drinks
STARS: 14
Damn, that looks good doesn’t it? Well, it tastes even better. And the best part is it isn’t even that hard to make. So buckle up, it’s time for cooking with Follow the Trail of Blown Headgaskets!
Start by filling a large pot with water and getting it boiling. Don’t skimp on the water! That’s one of the most common pasta blunders. Fill a large pot around 3/4 full. Yes, it will take a while to boil, but we’ve got a sauce to make! On another burner we’ll use the classic white sauce as our base. Start by making a roux. If you know what that is, you are a good human, and can skip ahead to after the next photo. Otherwise, melt 2 tablespoons of butter over low heat. Slowly add 2 tablespoons of flour to that, keeping it moving constantly with a fork or whisk. My daughter has Celiac, so I use Bob’s Red Mill 1 to 1 and it works great. The roux should be a sort of thick light brown blob. To that we add 1 cup of milk. I typically use skim, I don’t think it matters much with all the shit we’ll be adding later. Anyway, slowly add the milk while stirring to dissolve in the roux evenly. It can be stubborn, but you want to get rid of all of the clumps of you can. Then increase the heat while stirring and the sauce will begin to thicken. As soon as it starts to bubble it is done. It should have the consistency of a typical white pasta sauce if done properly. Turn the heat down.
At this point, the large pot is probably boiling. Add 1 lb. of macaroni noodles to it. That’s 454 grams for those of you that don’t live in Trumpistan. I use Wal-Mart’s GreatValue gluten free pasta and it works great. Macaroni cooks quickly. Set a timer and follow the directions on the box/bag. Don’t fucking overcook the pasta! Over cooked pasta will fall apart when you mix in the sauce later and ruin everything.
After the pasta is bathing, start adding cheese to the sauce. You’ll need a half pound of processed cheese product. Velveeta works great. Cut it up into a few pieces and toss it into the white sauce, stirring occasionally.
As the cheese starts to melt, it’s time to season it. Season to taste, but stick to the basics of Italian cuisine. Don’t go adding cumin or cinnamon or some shit like that. I use basil, oregano, crushed red pepper, dried onion (lots), California garlic (also lots) and salt and pepper. OK, I lied, usually I use MSG instead of salt, because I fucking love MSG. It makes some people sick, YMMV. If you don’t do MSG, salt is OK. Top it off with a big heap of grated Parmesan cheese and mix it all into the sauce.
The pasta is probably done now. When the timer goes off, strain it, and return to the pot. Keep the sauce moving so that the cheese doesn’t burn onto the bottom of the pot.
The final sauce should look something like this. Well in consistency, anyway. Apple has had 10 years to figure out white balance for fluorescent on iPhones and still fucks it up and makes yellows look green. The sauce should drip from a fork, but form a tail. Plain cheese sauce is boring. We need to see some seasoning in it.
Next is pepperoni time! Don’t fucking skimp here: get the thick sliced pepperoni. Make several stacks and cut them into quarters. Use a cutting board. Don’t fucking ruin your knives by cutting on a countertop or plate. I saved a few pieces off to the side for the dogs. Normally I advocate this but on this occasion one of my dogs barfed it back up on the kitchen floor along with a bunch of dog food. Proceed with caution.
Add the pepperoni to the pasta before the sauce and mix together. If you haven’t fucked around too much the pasta will still be hot which will make some of the grease weep out of the pep. That will help lubricate the noodles so they don’t stick together as much.
Finally add the cheese sauce and start to feel it coat your insides before you even eat it as it sticks to the noodles and pepperoni. Work quickly, because it will start to thicken as it cools, but also be careful not to be so forceful that you break the noodles. When we have it somewhat evenly distributed, it is time to plate and enjoy.
Ta-da! We did it! Way easier than something like enchiladas or the black art of grilling. This usually serves myself and my two kids with leftovers for the next day. For maximum heart-attack-ness, it pairs really well with Coca-Cola. I do not recommend eating this on a regular basis, because, quite frankly it is fucking horrible for you. But damn it is delicious. Thank you for your time, this has been Cooking with Follow the Trail of Blown Headgaskets.
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/05/2017 at 03:40, STARS: 0
It’s midnight.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
03/05/2017 at 03:45, STARS: 1
It’s 2:45 Texas Standard Time.
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/05/2017 at 03:45, STARS: 0
It’s 12:45 AM World Standard Time.
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/05/2017 at 03:46, STARS: 1
And honestly 2 AM Mac n Cheese isn’t exactly any better than 12 AM Mac n Cheese.
"CRider" (crider)
03/05/2017 at 03:47, STARS: 0
What’s gluten free pasta like?
"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/05/2017 at 03:50, STARS: 4
I didn’t just make it now. I just got around to drinking enough to post it now.
"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/05/2017 at 03:53, STARS: 1
It’s actually not too bad. Made from rice and corn flour mostly. You do have to be a bit more careful about how you cook it - less margin on too firm/just right/too soft. But it’s a lot closer to regular wheat pasta than something like gluten free bread.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
03/05/2017 at 03:56, STARS: 0
Anytime is a good time for mac n cheese.
"Svend" (svend)
03/05/2017 at 03:56, STARS: 0
It’s 08:55 UTC/GMT here.
So mac and cheese would make a great student breakfast.
"Svend" (svend)
03/05/2017 at 04:01, STARS: 0
It looks good, it looks tasty.
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
03/05/2017 at 04:01, STARS: 1
You need a friend.
"CRider" (crider)
03/05/2017 at 04:29, STARS: 1
At least you can eat something resembling mac and cheese. Celiac is the stuff of nightmares for me, I think I’d starve if I had it. And yeah, I’d hope gluten free pasta is closer to wheat pasta than gluten free bread! Every sandwich would just be lasagna then.
"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/05/2017 at 04:32, STARS: 0
Doesn’t look as good as some of the food you post, but it is tasty.
"Svend" (svend)
03/05/2017 at 04:39, STARS: 1
Thanks but looks aren’t important. I had Chinese last night.
Doesn’t look good at all but tastes great.
"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
03/05/2017 at 06:20, STARS: 0
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"Averyrm - GTI YUP" (averyrm)
03/05/2017 at 07:13, STARS: 1
I make a similar one as far as the base sauce (and gluten-free-ness) goes.
On top - Chorizo, sweet corn, black beans, and diced cherry tomatoes. It is amazing.
"punkgoose17" (punkgoose17)
03/05/2017 at 08:16, STARS: 0
As someone with Celiac MSG makes me really sick, but I was able to eat anything until I was 20 then my body couldn’t deal with it anymore and I had to cut out wheat, gluten, and msg.
Your mac n cheese looks really good. I want to make some now, but I just made some on Thrusday.
"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
03/05/2017 at 09:02, STARS: 1
How to make perfectly adequate mac and cheese if you hate cooking and don’t have time to deal with it.
Add other ingredients to taste. Chipped ham or chunks of a good smoked sausage work well.
"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/05/2017 at 10:34, STARS: 1
Pretty much. That stuff is pretty good for coming from a box. Unfortunately it’s out for my family situation but definitely a good option for others.
"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/05/2017 at 10:40, STARS: 0
Oh my that sounds good. Minus the cherry tomatoes I might have to try that. We’re Texan, so my kids love chirozo, corn, and black beans already.
"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
03/05/2017 at 10:46, STARS: 1
My son had some digestive issues and we went to a gluten-free diet until they could complete all the testing. I feel your pain.
"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/05/2017 at 13:00, STARS: 0
Nothing wrong with making it again lol. My dad got to his 50's then it hit him like a brick. According to tests I’m nagative but my kiddo got the Celiac genes. MSG doesn’t seem to bother her, just gluten.
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
03/05/2017 at 19:17, STARS: 1
GOOD oppo
"E90M3" (e90m3)
03/05/2017 at 22:46, STARS: 0
Are those Farberware pots?
"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/05/2017 at 23:15, STARS: 0
Interesting observation - yes they are! I got those 11 years ago when I got my first apartment on my own and they’ve held up amazingly well.
"E90M3" (e90m3)
03/05/2017 at 23:17, STARS: 1
My parents have a set that’s older than me and my mom got me a set for my first apartment. They seem to be pretty quality shit.
"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/05/2017 at 23:19, STARS: 1
Definitely solid - I’m 90% sure that I got them at Macy’s. They aren’t the cheapest thing you can buy, but aren’t all that expensive when you get the whole pot/pan set on sale.
"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
03/06/2017 at 00:00, STARS: 1
Every now and then I contribute something worthwhile :)
"E90M3" (e90m3)
03/06/2017 at 11:19, STARS: 1
I think my mom got my set at Kohls on sale. While they may not be cheap, they’re good quality, which is what is important. I’d rather spend money on something that will last as opposed to saving a few dollars on the purchase price and having to replace the set after a few years.