by "TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy" (thebimmerguy)
Published 02/16/2017 at 14:32
by "TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy" (thebimmerguy)
Published 02/16/2017 at 14:32
No Tags
STARS: 3
Warning, long, possibly emotional post after the jump.
Oppositelock, a great, friendly place to talk to other car enthusiasts without all the drama of “...yeah but without torque it’s worthless” or “...Isn’t real without a v8 in it” and other petty arguments. Sure, it does happen, but it’s nothing ever major, not that I’ve seen. I don’t know how I found this site because I don’t use jalopnik, I love it here but sometimes I wonder why.
Oppo is one of the only places I can safely and calmly talk about cars and enjoy myself. But at the same time I feel a bit uncomfortable talking here. I often wonder what to post, what to comment. Do I shitpost? Do I post serious stuff? Sarcastic witty comments? Or serious comments? Perhaps both?
I’ll often sit there with a blank new post or blank comment wondering if I should post anything at all, often I don’t do anything. I feel like I’m too self conscious in a place that I have nothing to be scared of. So why do I do it?
I think it has to do with how my life has gone so far and how comfortable I am with my age. Most of my life I was bullied so every breathing moment that I can see another person I am being self conscious. It also doesn’t help that I’m 17 so I’m expected to act a certain way by my peers and I don’t, I often act like I’m 30-45 years old, thinking deeply and philosophically about life and current events. I don’t do fads and I’m often criticized for it. I don’t fit in with my own age group and I’m not to comfortable with the older people I relate to because, they’re older than me.
I sit in this weird middle area and I seem to bemostly alone here. There’s probably a lot of people like me, but they aren’t noticed because they probably spend a lot of time hiding who they are by showing only their good side in social media.
Speaking of hiding and self consciousness, I’ve been looking at everything I’ve written so far since early yesterday, wanting to revise it all, but not doing so because I want to be honest and say what I really mean and feel, not what I want people to hear. I’m so unsure of myself and I don’t know why.
I don’t know what to think or how to feel about... anything right now. The only thing I do feel at the moment is lost. Confused. I kust wish I knew why.
This isn’t the most appropriate place to write this but here is the only place I can be me, and people will listen not because I have a reputation, not because I have outstanding things to say, but because I’m human. A human that shares interests with many people here, whether it be cars, computers, or some other thing.
This post has no meaning other than to vent, maybe seek some help. I just know that I have felt, “off” since I almost died two weeks ago and I’m probably seeking something, whether it be attention, a meaning, or something else, I don’t quite know. Anyone who read this, I hope you’re having a great day.
"RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire" (ricerocketeer2)
02/16/2017 at 14:43, STARS: 3
As someone literally twice your age ... looking back, there really wasn’t much point being self-conscious. When you’re 17 you’re going to do and feel things that 17 year olds do, just try not to earn any Darwin awards while doing so.
"Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street." (demon-xanth)
02/16/2017 at 14:44, STARS: 2
What sold me here was a mix of the engine of the day posts that Murilee used to post and facts like Caprice managed to make us love his ‘95 Voyager. When it got too rusty to service we were still trying to figure out how he could save it.
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
02/16/2017 at 14:45, STARS: 2
I think a lot of us became curmudgeons before our time here. It’s the kind of personality this place catches like a net.
Just keep in mind, you’re more defined by your style, your approach than necessarily by your interests. Just figure out *how* to be you, and what you do to be you... well, it doesn’t matter too much after that. Do what you like.
It takes practice, but it’s worth it.
"Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell." (oppisitelock)
02/16/2017 at 14:45, STARS: 0
I’m socially awkward myself and after a few years I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter here. Even if you get a negative comment or troll, they are an outlier. Be yourself, post if you feel like it (I dont really post a huge amount) don’t worry about it if you don’t.
"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
02/16/2017 at 14:46, STARS: 1
I’d like to tell you it gets better but I can’t tell you that.
Anyways, I feel like I had a similar high school experience to you only without the social media. I decided to not give a fuck what people thought and that worked out well for me.
I went to college where no one knew me. I was unapologetically me, I was accepted for who I was and no one ever tried to beat me or my friends up again because we were different.
"random001" (random001)
02/16/2017 at 14:47, STARS: 0
Jump, we will catch you! I promise!
"random001" (random001)
02/16/2017 at 14:47, STARS: 3
Young punk.....
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
02/16/2017 at 14:48, STARS: 2
I’ll often sit there with a blank new post or blank comment wondering if I should post anything at all, often I don’t do anything. I feel like I’m too self conscious in a place that I have nothing to be scared of. So why do I do it?
Because otherwise you’d just post Twingo Memes
"random001" (random001)
02/16/2017 at 14:48, STARS: 0
"area man" (hurrburgring)
02/16/2017 at 14:48, STARS: 0
I kinda know how you feel. I’m in my late 20s but I feel like everyone else here has some natural enthusiast cred that I’m lacking, so I lurk more than I should instead of just contributing like everyone else. But I tend to overthink everything, something I’ve only just started to get a handle on. We’ll both be OK.
"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/16/2017 at 14:49, STARS: 0
I was often called “negative” or “bitter” at that age because I was beyond my years in terms of interests and awareness. It may seem like a curse right now, but once you get into your early 20s, it’ll seem totally normal. If I were you, I’d just take quiet pity on the “ignorance is bliss” people in your age group, sit tight, and be patient. I overcame this (and social anxiety) through a lot of drinking, but I do not recommend this route — seems like a great idea at the time, but now at 38 I still look back on how 90% of my poor life choices were made from ages 18-22.
"random001" (random001)
02/16/2017 at 14:50, STARS: 2
"crowmolly" (crowmolly)
02/16/2017 at 14:56, STARS: 0
Oppo is one of the only places I can safely and calmly talk about cars and enjoy myself. But at the same time I feel a bit uncomfortable talking here. I often wonder what to post, what to comment. Do I shitpost? Do I post serious stuff? Sarcastic witty comments? Or serious comments? Perhaps both?
Honestly? For the most part nobody cares. Post what you feel like posting.
Stick around and you’ll learn the ropes.
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
02/16/2017 at 14:58, STARS: 2
Either way he goes is fine, the sitting there or the Twingos. Although the Twingos are clearly better. You can’t spell Twingo without “win”.
"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
02/16/2017 at 15:01, STARS: 0
That’s a lot of HON HON HON.
"bhtooefr" (bhtooefr)
02/16/2017 at 15:04, STARS: 2
Yeah, I post Prius stuff on here, and I don’t get (much) shit for it. My advice would be... if you’re enthusiastic about something, it’s probably cool here.
"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
02/16/2017 at 15:04, STARS: 0
I’ve been called an 80 year old soul in a 20 year old body. Welcome to the club of shitposts, doggos, cars, and advice.
"crowmolly" (crowmolly)
02/16/2017 at 15:06, STARS: 2
If you’re passionate about your method of transportation it’s well received.
"E90M3" (e90m3)
02/16/2017 at 15:06, STARS: 0
Do I shitpost? Do I post serious stuff? Sarcastic witty comments? Or serious comments? Perhaps both?
Do whatever you want. That’s what makes this place great. I started commenting on oppo in 2009/2010 and there’s a reason I came back after 3 years. Yeah it’s not real life, but it’s still a great internet community. Plus you can ask any question and chances are someone has had an experience with it. All we share is love of cars and it’s great. Also you may feel older than 17, but it’s experience that truly make you wiser. Just find some other people like yourself, it’s also ok to act immature, you’re 17. I wasn’t the coolest kid at my high school but I found some other friends like me and 10+ years later we’re still best friends.
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
02/16/2017 at 15:07, STARS: 0
I often act like I’m 30-45 years old, thinking deeply and philosophically about life and current events
Dude, I’m 35 (fuck I’m old) and I still make fart jokes and try trick my friends into clicking hyperlinks that lead to goatse (don’t google that).
Seriously though being 17 and awkward sucks, we’ve all been there and as the saying goes; “This too shall pass”. My best advice is to focus on what makes you happy and don’t waste time on relationships that are toxic, life’s too short for that type of nonsense. Also, if you’re drinking and you think something is a good idea, it’s not... also if you’re drinking and everything tastes like water, stop drinking. That’s the point when shit goes sideways, trust me I know.
"Comes over to help work on your car and only drinks beer" (cyclonefan94)
02/16/2017 at 15:16, STARS: 5
I think all of us have a point where we felt awkward in our teenage years, other than the guy who’s 40 and still wearing his varsity jacket and reminiscing about the old times. To the people who said that HS or college were the ‘best times of your life’, I always thought “I hope the hell not, because then it’s pretty depressing because it’s all down hill.” To those who mature young, it’s not the peak, you’ll be hitting your stride just when regret and reminiscing start to be depressing to those looking back. And at 17, the 4 years of HS account for nearly 25% of your entire life, but at 40, it’s 10% and fading further from importance. I’m now to the point where I’ve been with my wife for longer than I was without her, and it’s great...can’t wait for the point when I can say the same for my kids.
It’s not much help now, but many of us that are older have been thru similar things (if not as intense), and we’re on the other side where it’s much brighter. Didn’t catch the ‘almost died’ story if you shared it, but without a doubt, that’ll make a fella (or gal) evaluate some things...sometimes too much. Sometimes you have to be able to look at a smoking, burned out hulk of a mess behind you and think “huh...that sucked” and try to put it behind you. Get help if you need it, and hang here, somehow most of the jackwads of the normal interwebs have been run off or haven’t found it yet.
"Under_Score" (tomtheatum)
02/16/2017 at 15:16, STARS: 2
I’m 17 as well, so you’re not alone. I don’t know what grade you’re in, but I’m about to finish up my senior year of high school (graduation day is in late May). For the first time, I finally have a very good friend group. It’s gonna be hard for me to physically leave them in college.
It makes me happy that you’re comfortable here, though. I’ll admit it here: I don’t feel a close bond with Oppo. I scroll through, yeah, but I don’t have the same attachment to cars as a lot of people here. My car is a 2012 Toyota RAV4 Limited with the four-cylinder, FWD, and the dealer plate frame and badge kept on the back ON PURPOSE. To add on, it’s paid off by my parents and they pay for insurance, gas, and maintenance, the antithesis of other young Oppo users’ car purchases. I get in, sync Bluetooth, and go places (ba dum, tish). I’ve been making seldom posts for a year and a half and I don’t really feel super connected. Some of the users here meet each other in person; I could never do that. I follow a lot of right-wing-meme pages on Twitter (think rare pepes), and even though I never interact with the users behind those pages on Twitter, I feel a closer connection with funny memes than I do Craigslist Mercedes updates (wow, connecting with memes, I’ve reached a new level haha). So, I’m glad that you feel confident enough to share how you feel on here; I don’t think I’d feel right to share my deeper emotions to Oppo, let alone public Internet. I know you’ll be okay; if graduation is soon, then this chapter of life will close and the new one, college, will begin.
"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
02/16/2017 at 15:22, STARS: 1
It’s a sign of intelligence that you relate better to your elders than your peers.
Although some would disagree, I found that things get better when you go to college. It’s the first place you will have a lot of exposure to like-minded individuals. It’s even better if you go to grad school.
Leaving academia for the work force puts you back into the maelstrom, however some careers will surround you with people you can relate to (engineering, for example). You will also be better equipped to deal with it.
"TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy" (thebimmerguy)
02/16/2017 at 15:25, STARS: 0
I didn’t link the almost died story because I didn’t think it was necessary but maybe I should have. Long story short, shitty thing happened, got angry, drove like an idiot, almost crashed in a car with no airbags. Link if do want to read it http://oppositelock.kinja.com/i-was-saved-tonight-1792011617
"Frank Grimes" (FrankGrimes)
02/16/2017 at 15:43, STARS: 0
I related to your post describing yourself. I was much like you. I felt I never fit in. I am an introspective sensitive type of person I did my own thing and liked what I liked without being caught up in what was cool or was not. Im in my 30's and feel like I don’t know a lot about myself or what I want to do. I think you should just chill out let yourself figure it out without trying to set a deadline or an expectation. If you feel things get too serious to handle ask for help whether parents a trusted freind or a therapist or counselor. If I were you I would start journaling and writing things down start listing what you are all about what you enjoy and what you dont write down some goals and figure out what makes you tick what your passions are.
everyone feels awkward and there are ways of handling it whether you are the bully or you are being bullied. Its hard being either one. BTW noone really talks about high school after high school. I wonder what it says about the people who do.
Life is a process a learning experience and if you are doing better each day you are doing great. Learn from your experiences if needed but learn from others mistakes.
"Comes over to help work on your car and only drinks beer" (cyclonefan94)
02/16/2017 at 15:46, STARS: 0
K, again, it might not help in the present time, but time will dull a lot of this stuff. I can’t tell you the number of girls I lamented losing up thru HS...(I lost a shit-ton more than I got in those days) and they always felt like the end of the world, and so important...at 40, I can barely remember a few of their names. A few I can, and a few I thank my lucky stars I didn’t ‘catch’. Now, I have a wife that I cherish every single day...and some of the women who thought I was boring back then are now looking for someone who’s not so ‘exciting’ that he is cheating on them or leaving them, or didn’t leave behind his partying ways and now is a drunk or burnout. It’s not all, some of them I see or talk to once in a while, and they’re nice, they’re fine, and I’m fine. Point being, though, when I lost some of them, I thought nothing would ever come along. And now, I’ve been with my wife longer than I was without her. She liked nice, boring me (with just enough non-boring to be interesting to her), and we have a great life.
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
02/16/2017 at 17:33, STARS: 0
My friend, I can tell you with certainty that all your peers are going through some version of the feelings you describe, even the ones who don’t show it outwardly. We all have. It’s a strange fact of life that so many people can feel so isolated right next to each other.
As for posting, just post when you have something to add that you think can be of help to someone. That way, you quickly build up a rep as a good guy who wants to help. Only talk about what you know. You’ll make friends soon and it’ll become apparent with whom you can joke and how.
"wafflesnfalafel" (wafflesnfalafel1)
02/16/2017 at 21:30, STARS: 0
Life is full of scars - Honestly, I felt exactly the same I so you do back then. The quicker you can feel comfortable in your own skin the better off you are. It took me until my mid 20's - some are lucky and it comes sooner, some it never comes. Make your own decisions. Do a lot of stuff so you know what you like and what you don’t. It’s ok to enjoy what you like.
Just to bring it back to oppo - enjoy every single hot in, off camber, full throttle downshift corner that you run into, metaphorically or otherwise.
"Tazio, Count Fouroff" (tazio0625)
02/17/2017 at 03:51, STARS: 0
Thank you for your awesome trust, how you wrote that and posted it.
*supportive ‘Net fist bump*
Also it’s seriously wonderful everything turned out OK with that other
"Tazio, Count Fouroff" (tazio0625)
02/17/2017 at 13:13, STARS: 0
Afterthought, hopefully may be of help:
It wasn’t necessarily the main point, of course; and it doesn’t change the present, but from someone with the luxury of having seen both sides...
...peer groupthink as a major life hassle dissolves forever the moment you get home from high school Commencement.
Please keep on hanging in there like you have! As the Trevor’s Space crowd says, “It [Truly Does Get] Better”
"CaptDale - is secretly British" (captdale)
02/17/2017 at 18:41, STARS: 0
First off, do not feel bad for posting this here, we are technically and off topic space anyhow, so non car related discussion and posts id totally ok. I have done it, and honestly I am so thankful for the help and guidance other Oppos have given and in the regard hopefully I can help.
As a teen in the late 2000's I didn’t fit in with most fads either. I had my groups of friends, but I was pretty easy going so I never felt out of place except when talking about my passions. I can’t speak much on the bullying to help you there. Though the threat of bullying is why I didn’t come out till I was 21, but I do understand the common interest issues. Most of my tastes and interests more aligned with someone who was a teen in the 80's with a little on the prep side of that. So I definitely had more common interests with someone who was at least in their mid 20s to early 40s depending on what I was on about. I tried to talk to some of my peers about stuff I enjoyed, but most just didn’t care or thought it was odd. There were a few like minded but they were far and few between.
I had kind of an unfortunate event happen mid way through my sophomore year that made me switch schools and mature quite quickly and made me realize how immature my friends were and that didn’t help the situation. Thankfully my Mom and I had common interests and did activities together so I was able to hang out with and talk with her friends and they became mine. If that isn’t a possibility for you now then just remember that college or wherever you go after HS you will meet better people and people you can be your self with.
Just remember, above all Oppo is a pretty friendly place. And we are always happy to see new people talking with us. I hope I could help a little.