What in the everlasting fuck is this?

Kinja'd!!! by "jkm7680" (jkm7680)
Published 02/07/2017 at 16:29

No Tags
STARS: 5


Bloated, hideous, no ground clearance and looks like a minivan. Good job Ford!

Kinja'd!!!


Replies (48)

Kinja'd!!! "Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras" (jegoingout)
02/07/2017 at 16:31, STARS: 5

Its a Tahoe

Kinja'd!!! "That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
02/07/2017 at 16:33, STARS: 3

What does it need ground clearance for? That’s never even thinking about going off-road. That side is a whooooooooole lot of sheet metal though...kinda weird looking.

Kinja'd!!! "ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper" (thedlo)
02/07/2017 at 16:34, STARS: 2

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
02/07/2017 at 16:34, STARS: 1

Speed bumps can be pretty high sometimes.

Kinja'd!!! "ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
02/07/2017 at 16:34, STARS: 2

My thought exactly.

Kinja'd!!! "Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
02/07/2017 at 16:35, STARS: 1

What it is... is hideous.

Kinja'd!!! "Party-vi" (party-vi)
02/07/2017 at 16:36, STARS: 4

Are we sure this isn’t a 4-door E-Series van?

Kinja'd!!! "Wacko" (wacko--)
02/07/2017 at 16:37, STARS: 1

when I first saw those pics this morning, I thought someone did a photoshop job to a Tahoe with a F-150 face, but now I see Ford did the Photoshop job them selves.

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "Probenja" (probenja)
02/07/2017 at 16:38, STARS: 11

Bloated, hideous, no ground clearance and looks like a minivan. Good job GM!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa)
02/07/2017 at 16:41, STARS: 1

Kinja'd!!!

Fixed. Also fixed the grille and that awful lower-bumper chrome piece.

Kinja'd!!! "BorkBorkBjork" (tbirdlemons)
02/07/2017 at 16:42, STARS: 0

Give it up Ford, GM won the Full Size battle years ago.

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "jkm7680" (jkm7680)
02/07/2017 at 16:42, STARS: 0

Kinja'd!!!

Ground clearance, doesn’t look like a minivan. Not super bloated.

Kinja'd!!! "jkm7680" (jkm7680)
02/07/2017 at 16:44, STARS: 0

I’m fairly certain the only people that bought last gen Expeditions were rental car companies.

I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen a new Navigator.

Kinja'd!!! "unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
02/07/2017 at 16:48, STARS: 0

I agree.

Kinja'd!!! "Brian, The Life of" (familycar)
02/07/2017 at 16:50, STARS: 5

Because full-sized SUVs are taken off road so often?

Kinja'd!!! "nermal" (nermal)
02/07/2017 at 16:51, STARS: 1

It’s basically like an Explorer, only bigger. Less truck and 4x4, more tall station wagon.

Kinja'd!!! "jkm7680" (jkm7680)
02/07/2017 at 16:51, STARS: 2

Well soccer moms like to plow into parking stops, crash into low things and go over potholes and bumps quickly.

Kinja'd!!! "Matthew Phillips" (flatsidewaysfl)
02/07/2017 at 16:54, STARS: 1

I love the fact it’s a large Stationwagon.

Kinja'd!!! "Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/07/2017 at 16:56, STARS: 3

Damn, Ford has gotten really weird with all the grille work lately. It’s like a design competition where everybody won, or something. At least the foglamp surrounds vaguely resemble the grille inlay. Had those been off, my mild-mannered OCD would have flown into a rage.

Kinja'd!!! "Brian, The Life of" (familycar)
02/07/2017 at 16:56, STARS: 0

Fair.

Kinja'd!!! "wiffleballtony" (wiffleballtony)
02/07/2017 at 16:59, STARS: 8

I don’t see the issue. Ford is turning it into a minivan, which is what the buyers actually needed in the first place.

Kinja'd!!! "jkm7680" (jkm7680)
02/07/2017 at 17:00, STARS: 0

At the same time, they’ve alienated Government buyers instead of appealing to them.

Look at the Suburban, the government sucks those up like crazy because of their SUV-ness.

Kinja'd!!! "wiffleballtony" (wiffleballtony)
02/07/2017 at 17:01, STARS: 0

Government is either going Tahoe or Explorer anyways.

Kinja'd!!! "jkm7680" (jkm7680)
02/07/2017 at 17:05, STARS: 0

Not necessarily.

They like their Suburbans more than Tahoes, or Explorers. Ford had a chance.

Kinja'd!!! "Trevor Slattery, ACTOR" (anacostiabikecompany)
02/07/2017 at 17:11, STARS: 0

Ahh, the “tall wagon” Blech.

Kinja'd!!! "Probenja" (probenja)
02/07/2017 at 17:14, STARS: 2

Untill we get specs you can’t say it has worse ground clearence or that it’s more bloated, so far we just got photos from a preproduction version of the highest trim of the Expedition. And I don’t think either one looks like a minivan at all.

Kinja'd!!! "Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/07/2017 at 17:21, STARS: 3

It’s an Explorer front end on a Tahoe, basically.

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "Racin'Jason001" (racinjason001)
02/07/2017 at 17:26, STARS: 0

I definitely like the GM twins better, but this is better than Toyota.

Kinja'd!!! "Racin'Jason001" (racinjason001)
02/07/2017 at 17:28, STARS: 0

I like it. Also, this is Ford’s version of a minivan for the modern times.

Kinja'd!!! "Kat Callahan" (kyosuke)
02/07/2017 at 17:32, STARS: 0

And they will sell a fuckton to upper middle class suburban white soccer moms. Mark my words.

Kinja'd!!! "gmctavish needs more space" (gmctavish)
02/07/2017 at 17:35, STARS: 0

I’ll take an Excursion instead

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "Mattbob" (mattbob)
02/07/2017 at 17:41, STARS: 0

so chode-ey

Kinja'd!!! "Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/07/2017 at 17:53, STARS: 2

What’s not SUV-ness about the new Expedition? It’s built on the F-150 platform and the Expedition MAX is basically a Suburban.

Kinja'd!!! "Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/07/2017 at 17:54, STARS: 4

That is a lifted Suburban with the front lower air dam removed.

Stock Suburban:

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "jkm7680" (jkm7680)
02/07/2017 at 17:56, STARS: 0

Way too fat looking, looks like a slightly lifted Pacifica.

Kinja'd!!! "Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/07/2017 at 18:02, STARS: 4

You have a funny way of looking at things. The Pacifica is rounded with triangle details. The Expedition is square with square details except for the little triangles in the front fascia.

It looks almost exactly like a Tahoe, save for the front overhang is smaller and the painted part of the bumper hangs a bit lower.

But it is a body-on-frame truck. Not a unibody minivan.

Kinja'd!!! "jkm7680" (jkm7680)
02/07/2017 at 18:25, STARS: 1

ok.

Kinja'd!!! "misfitmascots" (misfitmascots)
02/07/2017 at 18:40, STARS: 1

Looks like a ford version of a Tahoe. Not sure where it looks bloated.

Kinja'd!!! "Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa)
02/07/2017 at 19:27, STARS: 1

How is the expedition bloated? They look identical.

Kinja'd!!! "jkm7680" (jkm7680)
02/07/2017 at 19:30, STARS: 0

How the front end doesn’t taper off, it looks like a plus sized chin.

Kinja'd!!! "415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)" (415s30)
02/07/2017 at 20:22, STARS: 0

I bet that trim thing below the doit’s is a srep that comes down, so the version without that might have better clearance. You can always do a few inch lift.

Kinja'd!!! "BorkBorkBjork" (tbirdlemons)
02/07/2017 at 21:16, STARS: 0

It looks like a Z71, not a lifted truck. Stock Z71s have a completely different air dam setup.

Kinja'd!!!

And I think the air damn is removable too, at least it is on my Tahoe (previous gen). The Border Patrol took that to an extreme degree.

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "QCGoose" (chrismcfate)
02/07/2017 at 21:40, STARS: 0

In other words, the typical SUV buyer.

Kinja'd!!! "Kat Callahan" (kyosuke)
02/07/2017 at 22:10, STARS: 0

Who were using them as the new minivans anyhow. Not as sport utility anything.

Kinja'd!!! "Chuckles" (chucklesw37)
02/07/2017 at 22:25, STARS: 0

They still make the Navigator? I had no idea. I guess it really hasn’t sold well.

Kinja'd!!! "QCGoose" (chrismcfate)
02/07/2017 at 22:41, STARS: 1

Exactly.

Kinja'd!!! "GE90man" (ge90man)
02/11/2017 at 22:48, STARS: 0

the rear looks exactly like a suburban... hmmm

Kinja'd!!! "Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing." (granfury)
02/12/2017 at 16:25, STARS: 0

Like looking like a minivan would be a bad thing...