by "Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
Published 02/06/2017 at 14:15
by "Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
Published 02/06/2017 at 14:15
No Tags
STARS: 2
No, I guess you’re not. Apparently, Tom Brady’s jersey was stolen from the NRG Stadium locker room last night and Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick has ordered the Texas Rangers to find it. JFC, because that’s not a waste of public resources. Full press release copied below:
Lt. Governor Patrick: Texas Rangers on Case of Theft of
Tom Brady’s Jersey
AUSTIN - Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick has asked the Texas Rangers to assist the Houston Police Department in finding New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady’s jersey, which was stolen from the Patriot’s locker room at NRG Stadium in Houston last night. Brady wore the jersey during the Patriots comeback victory in the Super Bowl.
“In Texas we place a very high value on hospitality and football. Tom Brady’s jersey has great historical value and is already being called ‘the most valuable NFL collectable ever.’ It will likely go into the Hall of Fame one day. It is important that history does not record that it was stolen in Texas. I’ve called Colonel Steve McCraw to ask that the Texas Rangers work with the Houston Police Department on this case.
”I’m a Texans and Cowboys fan first, but the unquestionable success of the Super Bowl in Houston last night was a big win for our entire state and I don’t want anything to mar that victory. Whoever took this jersey should turn it in. The Texas Rangers are on the trail.”
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
02/06/2017 at 14:17, STARS: 3
When Donald Trump’s yes-men have hurt feelings, the state will mobilize all resources.
"X37.9XXS" (x379xxs)
02/06/2017 at 14:18, STARS: 0
Forget it, Jake
It’s Texas
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
02/06/2017 at 14:18, STARS: 2
#BanTexas
"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
02/06/2017 at 14:18, STARS: 0
If Steve Mcqueens Mustang from Bullitt was stolen it would be a big deal too. This is a $1,000,000+ worth item.
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
02/06/2017 at 14:18, STARS: 2
Texas is just a lackey for New England. Sad!
"You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much" (youcantellafinn)
02/06/2017 at 14:23, STARS: 2
So you’ve got something against the police tracking down the person who stole something that has a value somewhere north of $100,000? By that logic the police shouldn’t even bother answering the phone when people call to report a stolen vehicle.
"citizennick" (citizennick)
02/06/2017 at 14:23, STARS: 4
This is dumb. I hope it’s never found just because I think it would make for some great lore.
Lost or found, you know they’re going to find a way to make a 2-hour documentary about it.
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
02/06/2017 at 14:24, STARS: 4
Does the Lt. Governor always speak out on issues of petty theft?
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
02/06/2017 at 14:25, STARS: 1
Pretty sure Texas is Cruz country, while the New England locker room is solid Trump country.
"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
02/06/2017 at 14:25, STARS: 0
Football is srs bsns in Texas.
Joking aside, this is a PR issue. If not found, that jersey goes down in history as having been stolen by a sore loser Texan. Of course it’s in the state’s interest to track it down, item value notwithstanding.
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
02/06/2017 at 14:25, STARS: 0
I think it has to do with the value of the item. This isn’t just some $60 jersey you buy in a team store, this jersey is worth a shit tonne of money.
"You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much" (youcantellafinn)
02/06/2017 at 14:26, STARS: 1
Hardly petty theft when the value is so high.
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
02/06/2017 at 14:26, STARS: 4
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Sponsored by Pepsi
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
02/06/2017 at 14:29, STARS: 10
What if I told you, the Patriots actually let something White slip away?
30 for 30 presents: These Colors Did Run: the Tom Brady Jersey Story
"citizennick" (citizennick)
02/06/2017 at 14:29, STARS: 0
We need a 30 for 30 on those drones.
"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/06/2017 at 14:31, STARS: 1
It’s like rare art...it’s only worth $1MM+ if it’s on the open market and verified. Once its stolen, nobody dares touch it because where’s the value? If you’re only going to have it seized by the cops after you buy it, you don’t pay market value. F it, let’s just send OJ, he knows how to get shit back!
"citizennick" (citizennick)
02/06/2017 at 14:31, STARS: 0
I was only allowed to give one star but my heart gives 100.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
02/06/2017 at 14:31, STARS: 0
Do I have a problem with the police investigating this? No. And the Houston Police Department — the jurisdiction under which thefts within the City of Houston fall — is already on the case.
The Texas Rangers are a statewide law enforcement agency which does have statewide jurisdiction but which, among other things, serves as a statewide “internal affairs” department investigating law enforcement and political corruption, and large scale crimes like murders. They don’t usually take first crack at an investigation, especially when the department leading the investigation isn’t some two-bit police department in some sub-1,000 population country town.
Please keep your hyperbolic false equivalencies out of my comments.
"Jcarr" (jcarr)
02/06/2017 at 14:33, STARS: 6
I think you mean pretty theft
"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
02/06/2017 at 14:33, STARS: 4
I don’t particularly care for football, and I do agree (on the surface at least) that bringing in the Rangers for a piece of stolen CLOTHING is kinda dumb. However.
Point- While it would cost next to nothing to replace, it does have huge value. Not just historic, but monetary. And frankly I’d rather see the money go to the people who own it, no matter how much they already make, than to some jackass locker-raider.
Counterpoint- Still a f*cking piece of CLOTHING.
Point- It does reflect badly on you as a host if something gets stolen, something you were responsible for providing security for, and you don’t lift a finger to help out.
Counterpoint- How the hell do they get all the way into your LOCKER ROOM AND LEAVE WITH A JERSEY without being noticed?Even if they did get through the security to the locker room without being noticed, you should notice someone making off with your stuff. You deserve to lose it if you can’t at least be the last line of defense.
Point- It’s a piece of history.
Counterpoint- A piece of sports history. Ain’t the first thing to go missing, won’t be the last. Suck it up.
...
I started this post to get a good argument going, but all I managed to do was argue myself out of it. I’m going to shut up now and agree with you. Besides... it probably was an inside job anyway ( yes I know that makes me sound like a 9/11 truther shut up shut up shut uuuuuup ).
Smallbear out.
"beautimouse" (beautimouse)
02/06/2017 at 14:38, STARS: 4
Why is a baseball team looking for a football jersey?
Just kidding...I’ll see myself out.
"RallyWrench" (rndlitebmw)
02/06/2017 at 14:39, STARS: 2
How is a baseball team going to find a football jersey?
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
02/06/2017 at 14:39, STARS: 2
He’s up for parole soon, so that’s possible
"Takuro Spirit" (takurospirit)
02/06/2017 at 14:41, STARS: 2
Rangers are on the case? Consider it found.
"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/06/2017 at 14:42, STARS: 4
I’m sure he’ll be busy writing his new book,
If I Stole It.
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/06/2017 at 14:48, STARS: 0
I think we should instead focus our collective outrage on the fact that the stupid Patriots and stupid Tchom Brady won the game.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
02/06/2017 at 14:49, STARS: 1
If anybody can find that jersey, Nolan Ryan can.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
02/06/2017 at 14:56, STARS: 1
I agree that it’s worth a pretty penny and that it’s a part of sports history. My beef is more with Dan Patrick, that used baby wipe, going the extra mile and ordering a state agency to find a piece of clothing (no matter how valuable) when he does shit like this all the fucking time, and when these are part of his Top 10 priorities for the 85th legislative session which is currently in progress (emphasized portions are my commentary):
SB 3 – School Choice – There is broad support for legislation to ensure that every parent has the option to send their child to the school they believe is best for them. (takes money away from public schools and puts it into private schools, at the expense of poor, often minority, student populations).
SB 4 – Sanctuary Cities – No city in Texas should be allowed to ignore the law. We will end this practice once and for all this session. (Almost 40 percent of Texas is Latino. Some of those people are undocumented. They are in our offices, our schools, our churches, all around us. Our economy depends on our immigrants, legal or otherwise).
SB 5 – Photo Voter ID – Nothing is more critical to our democracy than the integrity of the voting process. Photo Voter ID is essential. (Gerrymandering is a huge fucking deal in this state as it is, making would-be minority majority voting districts almost non-existent thanks to “creative” districting lines. Add to that this pressure from Patrick’s and Abbott’s office to continue with voter ID legislation, which was already struck down by a federal court last summer, and you continue to disenfranchise minority voters. And their defense of Voter ID? That it curtails voter fraud. In the past 6-7 years, there has been ONE documentable case of voter fraud in the state. And it was a case of mistaken identity by the poll workers, not the man who was trying to vote [his recently deceased dad’s name was still on the voter rolls and when he went to go vote, the poll worker marked down his dad as having voted instead of him. They shared the same name.])
SB 6 – Women’s Privacy Act – A majority of Texans in both political parties and in every ethnic and demographic group believe that women and girls should have privacy and safety in their restrooms, showers and locker rooms. Unfortunately, legislation is necessary to assure that they do. (This is transphobic legislation that incorrectly asserts that trans-women are not women, but secretly men who want to prey on cis-women and children for the purpose of raping us. It is also the erasure of trans-men, but it’s easy to understand why Dan Patrick and other conservatives never mention trans-men because, again, it’s their belief that trans people are really cis people who wish to commit crime while dressed in drag.)
SB 8 – Fetal Tissue/Partial Birth Abortion – We will continue to fight to protect the dignity and sanctity of life by increasing criminal penalties for buying or selling human fetal tissue, among other protections, and we will ban partial birth abortion in Texas.
(Texas already bans abortion after 20 weeks, so we already don’t allow so-called “partial birth abortions.” And despite the reversal of HB-2, which was passed in the summer of 2013 and which required abortion providers to have hospital admitting privileges and be located within a certain radius of a hospital, Texas still has vanishingly few abortion providers left open. Most of the ones which were forced to close after HB-2 never re-opened when it was overturned. Also, donation of human tissue — of all sorts — for medical research is standard practice across the medical field. There were no fucking baby-mongers trying to get rich by selling aborted or miscarried fetal tissue to shadow bad guys, and the pro-choice “gotcha” video which purported to show just that was roundly proven false.)
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
02/06/2017 at 15:03, STARS: 0
Gross. Pls to refrain from posting photos of that petty douche here.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
02/06/2017 at 15:03, STARS: 1
This is probably the first time I’ve ever agreed with you on something. But I’ll take it! :)
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
02/06/2017 at 15:05, STARS: 1
Stealth edit. -_-
"Scott" (merl3noir)
02/06/2017 at 15:10, STARS: 1
Hey at least they are going after a crime that actually affects someone, and not just sitting by the side of the road collecting tax revenue.
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
02/06/2017 at 15:17, STARS: 1
I’m like a cat.
"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
02/06/2017 at 15:19, STARS: 0
Before I get going here I’d like to restate the fact that I am Canadian and therefore on the outside looking in.
SB3- Sure, send your kid somewhere else, but the state shouldn’t pay for it.
SB4- OK, I’m going to try and put this one as delicately as possible—but I see both sides. I don’t like the idea of large-scale illegal immigration. Nor do I like how established practices such as sanctuary cities are essentially being forced to stop that practice. Illegal immigrants taking jobs? Uh-huh. #1, they’re doing jobs citizens don’t want to do. #2, you made this bed... you’ve got to lie in it for the time being. You can’t just pull massive 180's and expect shit to come out OK. The workforce depends on the illegal Mexican. This is not something that can be changed overnight. #3, if you didn’t make immigration (especially from friendly nations such as Mexico) so difficult these people would probably (largely) be here LEGALLY. #4, I do think that if they are going to hold American jobs they should be paying American taxes. So... Streamline immigration already. TL;DR the immigration process itself is to blame imo, and while it can’t be changed hard-line overnight, it SHOULD get fixed.
SB5- I have nothing to add here. I agree completely with what they are saying, you should need ID to vote. I also agree with you. If they are deliberately skewing results by messing with district lines that’s just bullshit. Though I don’t really see what can be done about it. Ideally an outsider would draw the lines, but who’s going to listen to that?
SB6- Nope. Not going there. Too many lines, too carelessly drawn, and too much “delicate political wording that could mean anything”. Not going risk starting a shit-flinging contest here because I don’t know exactly what’s going on at the opposite corner of North America and misinterpret something. Good day to you.
SB8- No comment, you’ve summed it up pretty well, but... this is a thing? People selling fetal tissue? For WHAT?!? I call bullshit and I don’t want to be enlightened if it isn’t bullshit.
"Future next gen S2000 owner" (future-next-gen-s2000-owner)
02/06/2017 at 15:23, STARS: 0
It seems crappy and probably is but that jersey is most likely worth somewhere in the neighbor of 10 grand to the right collector.
"citizennick" (citizennick)
02/06/2017 at 15:25, STARS: 0
Wait, so you don’t think the BBQ chicken strip sandwich at Whataburger is the best thing on the menu?
"Jcarr" (jcarr)
02/06/2017 at 15:29, STARS: 3
TomBradysadface.jpg
"You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much" (youcantellafinn)
02/06/2017 at 15:30, STARS: 4
So what you’re saying is that the investigation of the theft of a small, easily transported, high value item isn’t something that the state police should assist in? An item that has significant historic value and quite literally belongs in a museum?
"TheTurbochargedSquirrel" (thatsquirrel)
02/06/2017 at 15:50, STARS: 0
Estimates are putting it’s value at around $500,000.
"Future next gen S2000 owner" (future-next-gen-s2000-owner)
02/06/2017 at 15:52, STARS: 0
Srsly?
That is nuts.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
02/06/2017 at 16:23, STARS: 2
SB3- I actually went into a lot of depth about this topic here . (Warning, it’s a VERY long read. And I’d understand if you don’t read it. But essentially, your point about not making the state pay for it if you choose to take your kid elsewhere is, actually, a very small part of a much larger, nebulous problem).
SB4- First and foremost, people are not illegal. People can do things that are illegal, but the people themselves are not illegal. That aside...
Secondly, the United States has a very long history of mistreating immigrants, in particular, Latino immigrants*. That history includes matters of federal law, such as the Bracero Program wherein Mexican laborers were brought here to do agricultural work and then, often times, not paid or given the entirety of the wages due them. They were often housed in inhumane conditions, trapped with no transportation, and paid artificially deflated wages, if, like I said, they were paid properly at all.
(Above image of Braceros being fumigated with DDT upon entry to the United States).
Several years after the Bracero Program, President Eisenhower instituted Operation Wetback (yes, a racial slur was used in the official name of a federal program). It was the largest round-up of undocumented Mexican laborers in our history. They were literally rounded up and herded on trains and sent back to Mexico.
Thirdly, it’s a common (and infuriating) misconception that undocumented immigrants don’t pay taxes. They most certainly do, by the billions of dollars.
According to Politifact :
According to the Social Security Administration, there were nearly 11 million undocumented immigrants in the United States in January 2009. Factoring out kids, nonworking immigrants and those working in the underground economy and not paying taxes, the Social Security Administration estimated about 3.1 million unauthorized immigrants who worked and paid Social Security taxes in 2010.
This group and their employers generated about $13 billion in payroll taxes in 2010. The administration then subtracted about $1 billion in benefits that could’ve been received in 2010 from earnings in years when workers were unauthorized. Workers and employers contribute roughly the same amount.
In a 2014 Vice News piece , the Social Security Administration’s chief actuary Stephen C. Goss affirmed the $12 billion contribution.
Further down in that article:
A 2016 study by the Institute on Taxation & Economic Policy, a left-leaning research organization, estimated that undocumented immigrants pay $11.64 billion in state and local taxes in 2013, equivalent to about 8 percent of their total income.
This includes sales and excise taxes on goods and services ($6.9 billion), property taxes ($3.6 billion) and personal income taxes ($1.1 billion, assuming a 50 percent compliance rate).
A conservative think tank’s estimate was actually higher than that.
*I focused on Mexican immigrants, but there are similar examples with other non-white immigration populations, as well.
SB5- Nope. we are not in agreement. I believe voter ID laws are unconstitutional and disenfranchise minority and female voters. And the justifications used to argue for them (fighting voter fraud) are thin at best, and have been completely disproved time and time again.
Even a staunchly conservative federal judge thinks voter fraud, voter ID affordability and other Voter ID justifications are utter and total horse shit . So much so that he wrote a 30-page dissent on a Wisconsin voter ID case.
SB6 - Nope, there is no delicate language that “could mean anything.” This proposed legislation is meant specifically to target and discriminate against trans people .
Here’s an explainer with the bill itself annotated by the non-partisan media organization, The Texas Tribune:
https://apps.texastribune.org/texas-bathroom-bill-annotated/
From the explainer’s intro:
Senate Bill 6, one of Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick’s legislative priorities, would require transgender people to use bathrooms in public schools, government buildings and public universities based on “biological sex.” The measure would also pre-empt local nondiscrimination ordinances that allow transgender Texans to use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender identity.
SB8 - Yes, this is a thing. In 2015, pro-life advocates released an edited video that purported to show that Planned Parenthood officials were trying to sell for profit fetal tissue taken from PP clinics.
What happened wasn’t what the pro-lifers claimed was happening, namely that PP officials were gleefully collecting fetal tissue specifically to sell and make a profit. The sale of organs and tissue is illegal in this country. The donation of such is not, and occurs all the time, of all sorts of tissue samples. Recouping some costs for storing and transporting donated tissue is allowable under the law:
The video itself highlights a portion of title 42 of the U.S. code , which reads: “It shall be unlawful for any person to knowingly acquire, receive, or otherwise transfer any human organ for valuable consideration for use in human transplantation if the transfer affects interstate commerce.” The law does include fetal tissue in its definitions. It says that the term “valuable consideration” doesn’t include “reasonable payments” for removal, transportation, preservation and other associated costs.
In 1993, a law pertaining to federally funded NIH research was enacted that allows donation of fetal tissue from induced abortions if certain criteria are met. These include that the woman donating is not aware of the recipients of the tissue, and that the abortion timing, procedures or method itself would not be altered for the sole purpose of obtaining the tissue.
"TheTurbochargedSquirrel" (thatsquirrel)
02/06/2017 at 16:27, STARS: 1
It’s the jersey worn by one of the greatest players of all time, in one of the greatest comebacks of all time, to win his 5th super bowl, the most of any quarter back.
Also sports collectors are crazy.
"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
02/06/2017 at 16:50, STARS: 0
SB3- I did actually read that. And like you said nebulous... I just latched onto one point that seemed clearcut.
SB4- Gonna skip to your last point here... If taxes are being contributed, why the hell can’t the gov’t get it’s head out of it’s ass. They are doing work nobody else wants, doing it well, don’t want to hurt the country because they are genuinely grateful they can live there even if it is under the table, and on TOP of that paying income tax? Just_let_them_come_legally_already.
SB5- We are in agreement within the bounds that I laid out. Cherry-picking districts to put together specifically because the demographics work better for you come election time is just corrupt. But I do think that voter ID is good and that is something I’m not budging on. Doesn’t even have to be photo ID. Just something with your name on it. I can’t see that it discriminates against anyone—it’s one rule for all and if it’s being applied in a discriminatory way than the blame does not rest with the rule but those who “interpret it creatively”.
SB6- That is much more clear. The original excerpt you chose said, as far as I could interpret, “They have the right to privacy in
SB8- So, loosely put, “research” vs “bad stuff for bad reasons” is what is being tossed around here, with the intention of one blanket over all?
"Shane MacGowan's Teeth" (shaneteeth)
02/06/2017 at 17:26, STARS: 2
Shhh. It’s full rage train time. No rationality allowed.
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
02/06/2017 at 18:04, STARS: 0
That bruh is mostly chin.
"hike" (hike15)
02/06/2017 at 18:37, STARS: 1
They should have told the baseball team Rangers to look for it. At least that’s not wasting taxpayers money and resources on a piece of fabric.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
02/06/2017 at 21:13, STARS: 0
Texas Rangers are not State Troopers. Troopers are LEOs with the Department of Public Safety (DPS). DPS regularly patrol Texas highways, and sometimes, like Rangers, assist in investigating big cases in conjunction with other, smaller agencies. (They’ll help a district attorney’s office investigate official corruption, for instance). But Rangers don’t patrol. In the law enforcement landscape, they’re more like Texas’ version of the FBI and less like the guy with a radar gun on the side of the freeway.
"Scott" (merl3noir)
02/07/2017 at 07:59, STARS: 0
Apparently they are unaware of this, as I have received 2 speeding tickets from Texas Rangers.
"gmporschenut also a fan of hondas" (gmporschenut)
02/07/2017 at 20:59, STARS: 0
items like these are typically traded amongst organized mobs as easier than transferring giant amounts of cash for a payment.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
02/07/2017 at 21:21, STARS: 0
Ooooh. Now THAT’s an interesting twist to the story. :)
"Just wear your damn mask..." (jimal)
02/09/2017 at 16:32, STARS: 0
They have to do something with all of that money they allocated to investgating Jade Helm...
"jim" (lilreezy)
02/09/2017 at 16:45, STARS: 1
20,000 unprocessed rape kits, but yeah, let’s pull out all the stops to get Crybaby his jersey back.