by "Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
Published 01/27/2017 at 20:20
by "Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
Published 01/27/2017 at 20:20
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STARS: 1
So many negative CrossFit stereotypes in one post, I want to hit a truck tire with a sledgehammer hard enough that it flies through the internet and lands on these bros’ table at the brewpub.
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
01/27/2017 at 20:31, STARS: 4
Bro.
"S65" (granthp)
01/27/2017 at 20:31, STARS: 0
Sounds fun
"garagemonkee" (monke)
01/27/2017 at 20:33, STARS: 5
Bruh
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
01/27/2017 at 20:38, STARS: 4
Breh
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
01/27/2017 at 20:40, STARS: 4
When I need an upper body work out I cut down a tree with my bare hands. Cross fit AF.
"Steve in Manhattan" (blogenfreude01)
01/27/2017 at 20:43, STARS: 0
Grew up in and around Rockville. And rented a Crossfit once - sluggish performance and no room in the back seat.
"not for canada - australian in disguise" (for-canada)
01/27/2017 at 20:44, STARS: 5
I think Honda should bring the Jazz Twist to North America and call it the CrossFit. Just for fun.
"jimz" (jimz)
01/27/2017 at 20:45, STARS: 1
WOD?
"DipodomysDeserti" (dipodomysdeserti)
01/27/2017 at 20:52, STARS: 3
Weiner of Death?
"crowmolly" (crowmolly)
01/27/2017 at 21:00, STARS: 1
I don’t hate Crossfit. The smugness rubs me the wrong way.
Example:
This is from a Crossfit article. They casually drop Rich Froning in with three of the greatest athletes that ever walked the earth.
Louie @ Westside says it best.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
01/27/2017 at 21:04, STARS: 3
Brah.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
01/27/2017 at 21:04, STARS: 0
Workout of the day.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
01/27/2017 at 21:04, STARS: 2
That’s what she said.
"G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3" (gbodyman)
01/27/2017 at 21:14, STARS: 2
Bruv.
"bhtooefr" (bhtooefr)
01/27/2017 at 21:17, STARS: 2
Real talk: there’s a CrossFit place near me, on the way to work, called “CrossFit Torsion”. Every time I see it, I think of testicular torsion .
"jimz" (jimz)
01/27/2017 at 21:22, STARS: 12
oh, like this?
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
01/27/2017 at 21:22, STARS: 2
Someone should start a hardcore band called Vas Deferens.
"TheD0k_2many toys 2little time" (thed0ck)
01/27/2017 at 21:23, STARS: 7
1st rule of crossfit. Everyone must know you do crossfit
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
01/27/2017 at 21:24, STARS: 4
The second rule of CrossFit is to always talk about CrossFit.
"Danger" (dangerray)
01/27/2017 at 21:26, STARS: 1
Got damn that’s perfect
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
01/27/2017 at 21:30, STARS: 0
Broseph.
"Funktheduck" (funktheduck)
01/27/2017 at 21:50, STARS: 0
Brosephus
"G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3" (gbodyman)
01/27/2017 at 21:50, STARS: 0
Brosenheimer.
"wiffleballtony" (wiffleballtony)
01/27/2017 at 22:19, STARS: 1
What is WOD?
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
01/27/2017 at 22:42, STARS: 3
Workout of the Day.
Basically at CrossFit gyms they have you come in and do some random sequence of CrossFit-y activities, that they came up with using CrossFit-ology.
Then you can say, “TODAY’S WOD WAS SO SICK BRO!” and go drink beer, as long as you follow the bullshit Paleo diet.
"wiffleballtony" (wiffleballtony)
01/27/2017 at 22:45, STARS: 0
Sounds reprehensible
"HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles" (hondasfordsvolvo)
01/27/2017 at 23:20, STARS: 1
Using momentum =working out bro
"RedlineZ bought an SV (And is getting rid of the z)" (redline350z)
01/27/2017 at 23:39, STARS: 1
Best part is when crossfiters say shit like “I can do more kipping pull-ups than you can do strict and I move my mass farther and the definition of work is mass moved over distance so kipping is better” to make themselves try to sound less like spastic flopping dipshits and more like exercise physicists. (Yes I’ve actually been told this by a member of the cult of crossfit)
"DipodomysDeserti" (dipodomysdeserti)
01/27/2017 at 23:51, STARS: 2
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
01/28/2017 at 00:41, STARS: 1
I read that like, Rich who? Google tells me he’s some CrossFit guy, I guess.
There are plenty of annoying weirdos at regular gyms too. At my gym I have:
- This weird shaggy dude who spends his whole leg day walking around in no shoes, just intentionally mismatched socks. He carries around a Ziploc bag of chalk and loves extreme grunting, asking the guy working the desk to spot him on the bench, and dropping the fuck out of the barbell when he gets to the top of his deadlift reps. I once saw him drinking a 2 liter of Diet Dr. Pepper between sets.
- This dude who stiff leg deadlifts 3 plates, if you count lifting it from the lowest cross bar setting of the squat rack, but can only curl 30 lb dumbbells. Between sets he walks from the squat rack way in the back all the way to the front, like why just chill by your weight when you can do a lap of the place? He usually wears Batman t-shirts and a flat brim Yankees hat but after the election showed up in a Trump fleece pullover and crop dusted a nasty fart walking towards the bench press.
- This guy who brings his backpack, and instead of using the locker room, takes his jeans off in the middle of the weight room, and leaves them in a pile with his backpack. He has his own squat cushion that he doesn’t use for squats but instead does this thing where he like, rests his shoulders on a bench, feet in front of him, barbell on his hips, then presses with one foot to thrust his hips up. I don’t know what the fuck that is. He also uses straps to do what I can only describe as kipping barbell rows.
Then there’s the assorted masses of people who come in and do all sorts of things that will probably injure themselves, but I don’t feel like describing all the different fucked up things they do.
I try reeeeaaaalllly hard to ignore them and only ever pipe up if someone is doing something noticeably dangerous, like the time this guy tried to have his 100 lb girlfriend spot him on the bench, and of course when he got to the point of failure with like, maybe 155 lbs, she couldn’t move the bar, and I had to go pick it up off his chest. Nobody likes unsolicited advice, and Shaggy McChalkbag has already appointed himself the official dispenser of unsolicited advice.
"nermal" (nermal)
01/28/2017 at 10:28, STARS: 2
Hope they were doing pelvic ring thrusts. Those are my favorite!
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
01/28/2017 at 11:09, STARS: 0
There’s a guy at my gym who does several “interesting” exercises as part of his usual workout, including this:
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"crowmolly" (crowmolly)
01/28/2017 at 12:32, STARS: 0
Every gym’s got it’s characters. I like that mine is mostly made up of cool people and each “tribe” has a respect for one another. Bodybuilders ask powerlifters form questions, PLers then ask them how to be less fat, etc.
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
01/28/2017 at 13:10, STARS: 0
I’ve yet to find a “real” gym where I live that even has groups of people who could be considered bodybuilders or power lifters.
First place I went to for a couple years was much more focused on classes and meal plans at their cafe. My wife picked it when we were signing up for a couples membership then she decided she’d rather use a treadmill and dumbbells at home. I renewed for a year myself but it just didn’t fit my needs and the last straw was when they shortened their hours.
Current place is like a mix of gym and racquetball club, there’s sorta kinda more equipment than the last place, but that’s not saying much because it’s definitely still just adequate, and there’s no deadlift platform.
There’s a Gold’s, but from what I’ve read about this location in reviews, it doesn’t have enough equipment for the volume of people trying to use it and their membership practices are kind of annoying.
I’m able to do what I need for the most part but I’m still not to the point where I’m like, this place is ideal.
"nermal" (nermal)
01/28/2017 at 15:09, STARS: 2
I don’t get it. That guy is accomplishing nothing that wouldn’t be better done by doing squats, deadlifts, and lunges.
Besides air humping a piece of foam over a barbell while increasing injury risk, of course.
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
01/29/2017 at 12:19, STARS: 0
The guy at my gym brings his own squat sponge to cushion the bar in his hips.
He comes in with his backpack, takes his jeans off to reveal gym shorts in the middle of the weight room, and leaves his jeans and backpack in a pile. Because who needs the locker room?
"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
01/31/2017 at 10:25, STARS: 0
I did CF for several years, mostly before my area had even a single gym (now we have 15+). To me, it was a quick & easy way to get into cross
-
training and HIIT, in my basement, alone, without having to spend countless hours buried in books and research or paying top
-
dollar for serious trainers. But just like most workout plans or fads, when you get too many people involved (and add the ridiculously prolific social media presence the gyms all seem to have), it
’
s a recipe for douchiness. I have to say I learned a lot from the different pieces of training, which is like the Buffet of Fitness. But once you get tired of the buffet, you want to specialize more
—
for me, I went the powerlifting route for a while (Simmons, Rippetoe, etc) but lately have been more focused on training for obstacle course races and 5k distances. CrossFit is definitely flawed in a lot of ways, but I still have to give it credit for reintroducing me to a
“
minimalist
”
way of working out after more than a decade in traditional gyms, wasting time on biceps curls and wondering why I got no results.
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
01/31/2017 at 10:50, STARS: 0
There’s a right way and a wrong way to do anything. At my not-Crossfit gym there are so many people doing idiotic things on the regular.
CrossFit has things about it that are good. A mix of power lifting, Olympic lifting, and other functional training is all good stuff.
I don’t hate any of that, I hate the cult around it and all the stupid behavior associated with it.
P.S. Bicep curls in and of themselves aren’t super productive but I like my bicep workout. I work down the rack, doing a set each of alternating bicep curls and alternating hammer curls. Start with 50 lbs, then 45, 40, 35. Then I do 4 sets of single arm dumbbell preacher curls with 25s.
Sometimes I throw in standing EZ-bar curls or something else for variety but been doing less of those lately. I thought I was cool doing EZ-bar curls with 45 lbs plates on the bar, or at least I thought it did until I saw this:
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
01/31/2017 at 11:00, STARS: 1
Right — the cultishness is ridiculous, especially when it comes as a “package deal” where I have to hear about the Paleo diet and why everything I do for exercise is stupid for some reason, all because you pay $200/mo for a gym and get up at 5am to do 95# deadlifts against the clock and tell everyone about it on facebook later :D
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
01/31/2017 at 11:29, STARS: 1
Wait, they do 95 lb deadlifts? Everyone knows the lightest you’re allowed to deadlift is 135 lbs.
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
01/31/2017 at 11:50, STARS: 0
95# is typical scaling for women if the men are doing 135#. And if you’re doing 100+ reps (Because Crossfit), it can add up. Bookmarking video for later, looks promising.
"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
07/19/2017 at 09:49, STARS: 0
Just had a chance to watch this....so much gold in that video. Good timing, today is DL day for me :D
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
07/19/2017 at 10:14, STARS: 0
Did kinja resurface this post somewhere? I got a bunch of random notifications from someone recommending some of my replies in this post and now you’re replying.
"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
07/19/2017 at 10:24, STARS: 0
I think someone else starred it, so I clicked the link and came back to this thread. Then I ended up watching about 5 of those Bro Science videos...