by "That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
Published 01/06/2017 at 14:41
by "That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
Published 01/06/2017 at 14:41
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STARS: 7
Yesterday I wrote about the ten best cars I’ve ever owned and ranked them. Those were all really great cars that I’d love to have back. These five...are not those cars. I’d like to toss these cars in a sack, throw the sack into a river, and hurl the river into space. In short: fuck these cars.
5. 1964 Plymouth Barracuda
The worst part about the Barracuda was that it could have been awesome, but there just wasn’t enough Barracuda left to do anything with. In fact, I started calling it “Barelycuda” because it was so god damn rotted. I bought the car on eBay in New Jersey, which I won’t be doing again...the seller said the car was solid, the floors were good, etc etc. This was not the case. I ended up selling the shell for $400, the engine for $100, and the transmission for $500...so I lost $500 on the car. It could have been much worse.
4. 1998 Cadillac DeVille Concours
Say it with me: NORTHSTAR HEADGASKETS.
The car was making white smoke when I went to see it, but it was a cold day, so I didn’t think a ton of it (this isn’ t true, I pointed it out and my dad didn’t think much of it because Northstar head gaskets weren’t known like they are now) because it basically went away when the car came up to heat. Of course on the first hot day of the year when I had to run the AC it puked its coolant all over Airport Road. I tried some Bar’s Leaks (haaa, has that ever worked for anybody?), and when I brought it to the local Cadillac dealer, they told me it would cost more to do the gaskets than it would to just put in a new used engine.
When I sold it, the guy didn’t drive it and barely looked at it. He emailed me the next day with a list of complaints that he would have been aware of if he drove the car, which I ignored and he never contacted me again. I don’t remember if I lost money on it or what, but still.
3. 1986 Merkur XR4Ti
The ad said it was solid underneath and had heated black leather seats. In reality, it was super rotted and had no seats. This was going to be a LeMons car, and I let my heart rule the purchase, which was a dumb shit thing to do. I ended up having a guy scrap it, I think he gave me $150 for it, and I felt that was a good deal.
The worst part of this was that, knowing I had to tow a trailer, I took my truck to Tasca Ford to get a light problem fixed. I told them to make sure the trailer lights worked, they said they would. I got to UHaul, and guess who’s trailer lights don’t work? I should have taken this as a sign that I shouldn’t do this, but instead I rented a truck to tow the trailer. This whole transaction blew.
2. 1990 Dodge Daytona Shelby
I paid $1200 for this car with like 200k on it. I spent another $1200 on the paint job you see it wearing there. On top of that, I dropped $600 on tires, $400 on a 3" exhaust, a bunch of cash on gauges and engine parts...and then it stopped running and I sold it for $1200. Remember the ‘95 Trans Am from yesterday’s top ten list? Thats what I sold to buy this piece of shit. It turned me off from turbo Dodges for...like 6 months until I bought an ‘88 Daytona Shelby. I am not a smart man.
1. 2004 Dodge Neon SRT-4.
Fuck this car. Fuck it to death. Fuck everything about this car.
I think it was a 2004, I don’t know, I try not to think about it. It spent more time broken than it ever spent being driven. Two days after I bought it this squeak started...I diagnosed it as the rear upper strut mounts. Bald Hill Dodge couldn’t replicate the issue, which of course meant it made the noise as I was leaving their parking lot (fuck Bald Hill Dodge, too, and some asshole named Chuck in particular). I bought the parts, brought it to Firestone, and they fixed the problem.
A month after that I did a dumb kid thing and raced a guy in a VW GTI. I kicked his ass, didn’t even push the car hard, and afterwards it made a loud whistling at idle. Turned out it blew an intake manifold gasket. After it was fixed, the car never made power the rest of the time I owned it (roughly three weeks).
And just for good measure, the third gear synchro was shitting the bed. I drove it very carefully 50 miles to Dedham MA to trade it in on yesterday’s #1 car, and by the time I got there I couldn’t get it into 3rd gear no matter what I did. For whatever reason the dealer didn’t drive it though, so good for me.
I hope that car is at the bottom of a lake somewhere. I don’t even want its parts out there polluting other good, decent SRT4s. Fuck this car.
"jimz" (jimz)
01/06/2017 at 14:45, STARS: 1
I tried some Bar’s Leaks )haaa, has that ever worked for anybody)
sure, if your goal is to plug up everything except the leak.
Did you buy the SRT-4 new or used? I had a 2004 also which I bought new, and apart from its appetite for front suspension parts I never had any serious trouble with it.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/06/2017 at 14:59, STARS: 0
Used. I don’t think SRT4s in general are bad, my buddy had one from new until 150k that he never had an issue with...mine must have just been a bad one. The previous owner even maintained it fairly well.
"Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street." (demon-xanth)
01/06/2017 at 15:19, STARS: 0
On the manifold gasket, what likely happened was there is a silicone o-ring on many Dodge manifolds. If you ended up doubling those over or had one fall out and not notice, you’d have ended up with a constant leak and be way down on power.
"Dave the car guy , still here" (a3dave)
01/06/2017 at 15:24, STARS: 2
With the Cadillac Northstar engine the only cure for the head gasket issue is to get a head stud kit. Discard the old bolts and screw those heli-coil type repairs. One guy I know has studded a few engines and they are great for years except for the leaks on the block. An old coworker has done bolt and helicoil type repairs 4 times over 7 yrs and 180k miles. Yes, he IS a complete idiot.
"Steve in Manhattan" (blogenfreude01)
01/06/2017 at 15:25, STARS: 1
One on my list ... ‘81 Buick Skylark. What didn’t go wrong with it?
"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
01/06/2017 at 15:33, STARS: 0
Worst pieces of shit I ever had was a w126 420sel and w123 with no floors and extreme blow by. Even the crusty ex boston area volvo 240 was more reliable than this turd. The w126 had no obd1, subframe rust, broken sunroof, and the piece of shit bosch KE-shittronic. Fuck that fuel injection system.
"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
01/06/2017 at 15:41, STARS: 0
“the seller said the car was solid, the floors were good, etc etc. This was not the case.”
Which is why I never buy any used car without inspecting it and testing it myself. At least half of the people selling cars are bullshitting in some way.
“couldn’t replicate the issue, which of course meant it made the noise as I was leaving their parking lot”
Which also means they deliberately play stupid and never admit to anything unless it’s something that works in their favour.
One previous car (Ford Focus) I bought was advertised as mint condition and was priced accordingly. And it did look at way... until I got in it and started it.
It was excessively noisy because one of the hydraulic engine mounts was shot.
The jackass dealer selling it tried to tell me “that’s just how they are” and I told them “no way in hell is that normal. I have driven them before and I *know* there is something wrong with this one and unless you fix it, there is no way you’re ever gonna sell it for what you’re asking”
And then I left.
They ended up fixing it, they called me, I tested/inspected it again and then bought it. And it was a good car... until one day just a little over a year later, a lady smashed into it while it was parked on the street.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/06/2017 at 16:46, STARS: 0
Interesting that they’re all American cars...
"TheVancen- In Pursuit of a Greater Payday and Car Parts" (the-vancen)
01/06/2017 at 16:47, STARS: 0
Last time the rad in my old Focus started leaking I just dropped 2 raw eggs in the radiator. They cooked on the way through the rad and plugged the leak until I wrote off the car last winter.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/06/2017 at 17:02, STARS: 1
Most of the cars I’ve owned have been American, I think out of 45 I’ve had...12 foreign ones. An ‘87 VW Golf nearly made this list for being objectively the worst car I’ve ever bought, registered, and insured...but I paid $50 for it, so it’s probably more good than bad.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/06/2017 at 17:23, STARS: 0
I’ve still never owned a ‘Murican car, unless you count my now-Wife’s former Sable. So therefore all of the worst vehicles I’ve owned are Japanese.
"Justin T. Westbrook" (justintylerwestbrook)
01/06/2017 at 19:22, STARS: 0
Out of an ‘07 Civic coupe, a BMW 325ci, and my current Ford Focus, the Focus is by far the worst.
But all three are good cars. One of them was great and I miss it every day.
"Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve)
01/08/2017 at 11:08, STARS: 2
See the problem with the Neon was that you didn’t have your laptop hooked up:
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/08/2017 at 11:16, STARS: 0
That would have actually been helpful.