by "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
Published 01/05/2017 at 20:53
by "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
Published 01/05/2017 at 20:53
Tags: neighbors
STARS: 9
Just got done with yet another neighbor confrontation. Remember the “friend” blocking the mailboxes? We confirmed we weren’t getting out mail, but it gets worse. They did an oil change there and got oil all over my property, my shoulder, and the road. We’re talking a 18" diameter spill plus several splatters. I had enough.
I went over there to, gently, tell his friend to move his car and never park there again. I showed him the spill and told him about the mail. He fumbled all over himself and apologized profusely and then returned to the house to yell at his friend. His friend came charging out, wondering what was wrong. So I had to re-explain everything again. He semi-apologized, but said he’s not responsible, it’s his girlfriend who parks the car. Which is patently false, I’ve seen him park it several times. He was high on God knows what and not complying.
“You’ve been blocking my boxes for two weeks. You spill oil everywhere. I want you to move your fucking car, and never park here again, and clean up this mess.”
“Hey man... What’s with the attitude?”
At this point my eyes bugged out of my skull. I put my index and middle fingers up against his sternum and nearly bit off my bottom lip.
“’Attiude’?!?!”
The neighbor came back out of the house running and started yelling at his buddy and pulling him back.
“Dude! Move the car and get the fuck outta here!”
“I was just! —”
“NO! Shut up. Get in the house. Get in the house. Get in the house.”
“I— uh...”
He starts stammering and then turns to me.
“Listen, man. I’m sorry. Let me — Let me — Let me shake you hand. Let me —”
I brush away his hand and go back to yelling...
“I’m not shaking your fucking hand. We are not friends. I want you to fucking move your car. NOW!”
[neighbor:] “DUDE FUCKING MOVE YOUR CAR.”
And so it was. The car is now gone. I’m getting a beer.
And now, for a series of gifs.
"Dave the car guy , still here" (a3dave)
01/05/2017 at 20:59, STARS: 0
I completely know where you are coming from.
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
01/05/2017 at 20:59, STARS: 3
Bro man. You were givin’ off some harsh vibes man. Just like... make love not war man.
/s
"d15b" (d15b7)
01/05/2017 at 21:00, STARS: 3
I think you need a journal, dude.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:01, STARS: 3
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"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:02, STARS: 1
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/kinja-blocker/lhdhdondofgpimddkmjmpgeiopddddkd
"InFierority Complex" (lanciere)
01/05/2017 at 21:02, STARS: 2
Well, it’s entirely your fault for having the audacity to have your mailbox where he wants to park his truck.
"vondon302" (vondon302)
01/05/2017 at 21:10, STARS: 1
Fucking people. Have one on me.
"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
01/05/2017 at 21:10, STARS: 0
So you forced a man under the influence to get behind the wheel.
Shame.
/s
"fintail" (fintail)
01/05/2017 at 21:11, STARS: 1
I wonder if any city code enforcement people would do anything, esp with the spill.
Oh, you’re in Everett, right? My mistake :)
"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg)
01/05/2017 at 21:14, STARS: 2
Ok I got a proper laugh out of reading this. Excellent work.
I’m lucky that all of our neighbors (well, all except for a pair of snooty doctors five doors up) are excellent people, even the ones who keep to themselves.
The house across the street has a bit of a yard fetish. Guy was out on his riding mower on New Year’s Day, mowing the dead yard in below freezing weather. So there’s that.
"d15b" (d15b7)
01/05/2017 at 21:15, STARS: 0
Is this your extension?
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:15, STARS: 1
My yard has been completely massacred by doggo. Wasn’t the most attractive yard to begin with for sure, but now... Crispy urine death. And some holes lol
"TheTurbochargedSquirrel" (thatsquirrel)
01/05/2017 at 21:17, STARS: 0
My neighbor also has a lawn fetish. He mows at least 3 times a week.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:18, STARS: 1
Maybe if I lived over on Grand Ave, the police and city would be flocking to my rescue. BUT ALAS.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:19, STARS: 0
I dunno. I’ve still never blocked anyone.
"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg)
01/05/2017 at 21:22, STARS: 0
We are fighting a losing battle with patches...no idea what’s causing them but the grass seed only seems to help temporarily.
"d15b" (d15b7)
01/05/2017 at 21:23, STARS: 0
Me neither. Glad it worked out though!
"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg)
01/05/2017 at 21:23, STARS: 0
There are two near me who do that, guy across the street and guy four doors up. Those two and us are also the only people on the street who mow our own lawns, but during peak season I do it maybe once every week/10 days.
"deekster_caddy" (deekster_caddy)
01/05/2017 at 21:24, STARS: 2
Tomorrow with a cooler head go back and apologize to the neighbor, and thank him for chewing out his friend. Sounds like he was trying to do the right things.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:24, STARS: 2
My other neighbor occasionally apologizes for the condition of their yard. I always tell them to look over the fence if they want to feel better about themselves.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:25, STARS: 1
I already did that. We talked a few minutes afterwards.
"Mid Engine" (jdlogan2006)
01/05/2017 at 21:30, STARS: 1
I live on an oval, one way in/out. Our mailboxes have been hit & flattened twice in the last year, people randomly park their cars drivers and passengers side to the curb, and last week some dude wandered around my front porch looking for packages to steal (there were none, so he stole my Seahawks signs). All on a street of maybe 50 houses. Seattle is fucked.
"Spaceball-Two" (spaceball-two)
01/05/2017 at 21:30, STARS: 0
Well that escalated quickly! Good on ya! Surprised home dude could change his own oil.
"fintail" (fintail)
01/05/2017 at 21:32, STARS: 0
I have a friend who lives on Grand Ave, been there for a year after actually winning a bidding war (a bidding war in Everett, still seems insane to me).
The amount of times his car has been broken into: >0.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:33, STARS: 2
Considering he dumped it all over the ground, I wouldn’t call it a successful change.
It’s also very annoying, because we all aim for the path of least resistance. But with some people, you just have to tell bluntly what’s on your mind to get the message across.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:36, STARS: 0
Yeah Grand is interesting. Some 4 bedroom homes there going for over $800,000. However, the view is I N C R E D I B L E, and some of those homes are real gems, homes built old and built right.
People occasionally snicker at me for putting clubs on my shitboxes. Counterpoint: Everett.
"Tekamul" (tekamulburner)
01/05/2017 at 21:38, STARS: 2
Driveway blocking is serious business. This happened near me a few days ago : http://www.wcax.com/story/34167065/police-1-dead-another-sent-to-hospital-after-shooting
TL;DR : Two loggers block guy’s driveway, guy throws shit fit. Logger punches guy, guy shoots loggers. Fun times all around.
"vicali" (vicali)
01/05/2017 at 21:39, STARS: 0
YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY?
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:44, STARS: 0
That’s pretty fucked up. Also why I’m very careful when I work out in the field and often park far, far, far away from jobsites and just walk in. You never know who you might piss off. I guess flipping it back to me, I did wait two weeks, confronted my neighbor, had the situation rectified, until the other guy came out and poked the bear.
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
01/05/2017 at 21:46, STARS: 0
I take it my assassination by brain aneurysm was successful?
"Life and Times of Magoo: The People's Champ" (magooslaststand)
01/05/2017 at 21:47, STARS: 0
#ThugLyfe
"fintail" (fintail)
01/05/2017 at 21:47, STARS: 0
My friend is in a condo - I would call it fair quality, I’ve definitely seen worse, but it is well kept. HOA passed the legal test anyway, and it soothed his spouse by owning something. Amazing view, as you say - that’s what sold him on it.
Back in the day, Everett would be called Ever-ratt. Although to be fair, I would live there without complaint if I worked there - I could afford a detached house. Not worth it to me for the 150 minute rainy day commute to Bellevue, however.
"Tekamul" (tekamulburner)
01/05/2017 at 21:47, STARS: 0
Yeah, I remember the last update. Around here, if they’re blocking a mailbox, you can just have them towed, but that tends to escalate things quickly.
"Spaceball-Two" (spaceball-two)
01/05/2017 at 21:47, STARS: 1
Oh I hear ya. Neighbor on the left we share a fence with has a nasty loud pit bull and a boxer pit mix. These dogs bark constantly and dug under the fence getting perilously close to my back yard and my kid. One good talk with her and some neighborly guilt got us a new fence and I rarely hear them anymore.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:49, STARS: 0
I live in Everett, my office is nearby, but almost all of my work is in Seattle and Eastside. Thank goodness for my company vehicle (fo’ cahs)
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 21:50, STARS: 0
I think most people mean well. Intentional or not, there’s always an internal calculation, “Well if I don’t hear anything, it must be fine,” putting the burden on other people to make a fuss knowing full well no one wants to.
"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
01/05/2017 at 21:57, STARS: 1
TONIGHT ON THE OPPOSITELOCK SMACKDOWN, ITS THE RAGING SPACE CRAB DR. ZOIDBERG VS THE ONE THE ONLY HONDA FAN BOI HONDABRO
"NJAnon" (NJAnon)
01/05/2017 at 22:01, STARS: 0
Ah, humans. we’re animals really just like gorillas. Just slightly less hair. :P
"Spaceball-Two" (spaceball-two)
01/05/2017 at 22:11, STARS: 0
Exactly. People get caught up in their own lives, vices, etc. and they forget about those around them that their actions might be affecting.
"Leonardo DiCabriolet" (leonardodicabriolet)
01/05/2017 at 22:44, STARS: 3
You forgot one on your gif list
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 22:46, STARS: 0
When I go completely bad, there will be nothing left to fall out.
"fintail" (fintail)
01/05/2017 at 23:12, STARS: 0
I assume you get paid for the time behind the wheel, or somehow include it in billing. I’m not so lucky :)
My friend works in dt Seattle, takes the train. Not a real option for us eastside workers.
"You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much" (youcantellafinn)
01/05/2017 at 23:18, STARS: 0
So, you’ve got four cars now.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 23:19, STARS: 0
3.5
"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
01/05/2017 at 23:24, STARS: 0
If it’s the front yard, look for neighbors walking dogs. That’s what happened to our yard. I finally had words with the one who was letting his dog into my yard and the patches miraculously went away!
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 23:43, STARS: 0
IMO a tow is the worst (outside of say murder) because you’re fucking someone out of a lot of money — atnd their means of transportation — to make a point.
"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg)
01/05/2017 at 23:56, STARS: 0
It’s both yards, so not that.