by "That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
Published 01/05/2017 at 16:52
by "That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
Published 01/05/2017 at 16:52
No Tags
STARS: 11
I was thinking the other day, I’ve owned a lot of cars. Some of them were good cars, some weren’t good cars, a few were bad cars. But it seemed that making a list of the best of the best would be a worthwhile thing, so here’s that list. These cars aren’t ranked in any consistent way. Some will be on the list because they were fun, some because I made money on them, some because they were reliable. But I’m ranking them anyway with absolutely no scoring system. Here we go, starting with number 10:
10. 1990 Eagle Talon TSI AWD
This might still be the fastest car I’ve ever owned, at least until the battery died. See, it had a piggyback ECU on it that was apparently used to lean out the injectors that the ECU proper was never programmed for. That aside, the thing flew, and was actually relatively reliable. It was also a shockingly modern feeling car. By today’s standards, this would be the nicest Talon you’d see in any given year...I paid $3000 for it and made a few dollars, but not a ton. Cool car.
9. 1995 Pontiac Trans Am
This one had t-tops and a six speed, with tan leather interior. 130kish miles, I bought it from a NH used car dealer who sold it cheap ($3000) because the engine was misfiring and he didn’t want to do anything to it. It turned out to be a melted spark plug wire...if you’ve ever owned an LT1 F-body, you know the plugs are zero fun to do, so I wasn’t shocked when I found 5 Bosch plugs, two Champions, and a Delco in there. Once I got the plugs and wires done it ran like a champ. I sold it for $5200 or so, my first decent sized profit on a car.
8. 1991 Ford Mustang LX
I had previously owned a few Foxes, but this is still the nicest one I’ve had. Granted, I paid all the money for it (at the time, that meant $6k for a 91k mile gorgeous hatch like this one), but still...look at the damn thing. It had a Trick Flow intake, GT40 heads, 3.77 gears, subframe connectors, and a bunch more stuff. I don’t think I owned it for very long, because I traded it for number 7 on our list.
7. 1996 Ford F-250 XLT Diesel
Well, there it is. The nicest OBS regular cab F-250 you’ve ever god damn seen. The truck had 250k miles, and it may as well have been 250 miles because this truck was MINT. It had a Banks Stinger kit on it, and was legitimately quick on the highway. Everything on it was top notch. I traded the ‘91 Mustang straight up for it, and sold the truck for $8000...now it’s probably a $13-15k truck, so fuck me, but it was good money at the time.
6. 1990 (1991?) Jeep Wrangler Sahara
This one saved my ass. I can’t remember what vehicle I owned before it, but I had just lost a shit ton of money on something (probably a Dodge Daytona, because again, fuck me) and this thing showed up on CL for $1000. I went and looked at it, it ran and drove mint aside from a sticking brake caliper. 4.2L with a 5 speed, not a spot of rust on it, all the stitching on the top dry rotted so I had a guy resew it for $50. I drove this one all summer, left the top down for weeks at a time, and sold it before the winter for $2300. I don’t remember what I bought next, but it wasn’t as good as this.
5. 1988 Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z
This is the first car I ever owned for more than a year, and it was the longest tenured car right up until #1 on this list. It was a 305 TPI with a 5 speed, t-tops, 3.08 gears and power nothing. Crank windows, no a/c...a nice Alpine radio though. This is the car I did all my dumb-shit-kid stuff in, and the car I was driving when I asked out my first girlfriend, so its kinda special I guess. I would probably hate it today now that I’m old.
4. 1969 Chevrolet Corvair Monza
Selling this car is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever done. I mean look at it! I bought it for $800, running and driving, with a MINT black vinyl interior. A little rust on the outside, but more like patina than anything. Repaired floorboards, and who the hell cares because look at it! I sold this one for $2300, but the car I should have sold instead is #3 on our list.
3. 1984 Jaguar XJ12 Sovereign
The Jag is the nicest car I’ve ever owned, or maybe ever will. My late grandfather sold it to me for $2000 about a year before he passed away, and when I finally made the decision to sell it, it brought enough money to do some repairs to our house and build a nursery before my son Sebastian was born. This car should be in a museum somewhere...its a german market Sovereign (rather than a Canadian Van Den Plas), and is one of a handful in the country. I didn’t get to give it the attention it deserved, but its with a real v12 Jaguar expert now, so I’m happy enough with that.
2. 1997 Toyota Land Cruiser
This big, sexy lump of metal. This is the first vehicle I’ve owned in a long time with a legitimate chance to unseat the #1 car on the list. It doesn’t have to do a ton, it just has to continue to be itself and it’ll get there. I love this truck, I love looking at it, I love driving it, I love that it’s got plenty of space for my son’s car seat, and I love that it’s the perfect car for the oncoming zombie apocalypse. And find me a less rusty FZJ80 in Rhode Island, you can’t. This truck is excellent.
1. 2001 Audi allroad quattro.
There we go, the best car I’ve ever owned and its a damn allroad. For four years and 60k miles, this thing was the absolute tits. It was smooth, fast, handled well, carried plenty of stuff, and shocker of shockers: it was RELIABLE. It was a 2.7T with a 6 speed, and everything worked. Right up until it didn’t.
I was heading to pick up my wife from work when the battery light (alternator light, really) came on and my voltage started dropping. I ducked off the highway and started driving home...I shut off all the lights, HVAC, and radio, but I couldn’t make the air suspension stop trying to inflate. It was torture, sitting at red lights half a mile from my house, hearing the compressor ticking over at half speed, the needle dropping continuously. A quarter of a mile out the car started to sputter.
My house is in sight, I try to pick up speed in case it dies, but the car isn’t having it. I turn into my driveway and as I come to a stop, the engine dies. Even when breaking down, the allroad always took care of me. I replaced the alternator...and did the timing belt while I was in there, but I didn’t want to deal with the upcoming repairs (leaking airbags and dead compressor, electrical gremlins), so I put it on eBay.
My reserve was $1500. The car sold for $3300. Apparently even while selling it, the allroad took care of me. If I won the lottery, I’d go find that car and even if it was a shell in a junk yard I’d bring it to the Audi dealer, leave a blank check, and say “fix it”.
So there you go, my top 10 cars. Tomorrow I’ll do my bottom 5, because failure is more interesting than success.
"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390)
01/05/2017 at 16:55, STARS: 0
But.....Corvair Monza. :(
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 16:57, STARS: 0
Fun fact, that was my original Oppo name: corvair_monza. It was a four speed too, I should have mentioned that. I’m a dick for selling it.
"TysMagic" (twjeffery)
01/05/2017 at 17:00, STARS: 2
I like this list and the way you scored it - would be a fun theme day.
Owned a couple on the list that would also be in my top ten. Off to look at what I’ve owned and rank them arbitrarily as well
"OneFastPuertoRican" (OneFastPuertoRican)
01/05/2017 at 17:01, STARS: 1
My wallet hurts just thinking about how little gas mileage you got out of the Land Cruiser.
"E90M3" (e90m3)
01/05/2017 at 17:03, STARS: 0
Probably about the same as my M3.
"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390)
01/05/2017 at 17:07, STARS: 1
Hmmm....It seems familiar. But my internet memory is rubbish. :p
I wouldn’t call you a dick for selling it, but I would call you insane. ^_^
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
01/05/2017 at 17:10, STARS: 0
Curious. Were you scared of electrical gremlins because of the mileage or because you drove home on a dying alternator?
"WilliamsSW" (williamssw)
01/05/2017 at 17:10, STARS: 1
Good stuff! A lot of fun cars in there- love the Corvair especially.
I need to do one of these- 12 cars covering a 50 model year span. Don’t think I have pix of most of them though...
"BeaterGT" (beatergt)
01/05/2017 at 17:20, STARS: 1
That Trans Am is bitchin! Love the color.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 17:40, STARS: 4
You’ve got the ultimate checked bucket list of cars. A Land Cruiser. A V12 anything. A freaking manual allroad. All the things I would like but will probably never achieve.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 17:48, STARS: 2
It rhymes with ‘melve’.
"Saracen" (manualdoucheelitist)
01/05/2017 at 18:08, STARS: 1
If I sold my F250 7.3 for anything right now, it would be a Land Cruiser.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 18:09, STARS: 0
The problem with the allroad is that they’re all a) allroads 2) 12-16 years old now and D) on their fourth or fifth uncaring owner. They’re great cars, but it’s getting that all that’s out there is garbage and museum cars.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 18:12, STARS: 2
That’s exactly what I did. I sold a 2001 F250 diesel to buy my FZJ80.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
01/05/2017 at 18:32, STARS: 0
I wanted so badly to buy the one I test drove last fall. It became apparent that it was NOT cared for, dealer was shady, but it was the best test drive of any vehicle by far. The ride, the clutch, the speed, everything was perfect.
"Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever" (superchan7)
01/05/2017 at 19:28, STARS: 1
Nice list—I haven’t even owned ten cars yet but getting close. Maybe I’ll do a thing on my Top 3 one of these days but my bottom 1 is certainly the VW. It’s always the VW.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 19:29, STARS: 0
My bottom one is a Corvette, because it almost got me divorced.
"Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever" (superchan7)
01/05/2017 at 19:29, STARS: 0
Didn’t know these were that thirsty...my Ferrari gets 11-12, and so did my coworker’s E60 M5.
"McBain" (live4ever)
01/05/2017 at 19:32, STARS: 1
I’ve owned three Fords and a Hyundai. I am not living my best car life. (I mean, I’m driving a 2016 Mustang right now, so life is looking up, but still, I got time to make up for)
"Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition" (realasabass)
01/05/2017 at 19:43, STARS: 1
Exact same problem with the S4 Avants of the same vintage. Especially the S4's.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 19:44, STARS: 1
Oh yeah. 4.5 liter inline 6 + 4 speed transmission + full time 4wd + 5500lbs of steel = reeeeeal poor gas mileage. I’m getting 11mpg, but at least I’m driving a Land Cruiser. Kinda like your Ferrari, except my ‘at least I’m driving a’ isn’t nearly as effective, haha.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 19:54, STARS: 0
That’s not too bad, I like Fords. I can’t afford a 2016 Mustang, so I buy and sell lots of cheap cars to fill that void.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 19:56, STARS: 0
I bought mine as a one owner with service records from a used car dealer that thought he was fancy. I traded in the worst car I’ve ever owned (tune in tomorrow for that list!) on it, almost an even swap but not quite. I think if you buy one, it needs to be the best possible one you can afford, not a project because even a great one is a damn project, haha.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 19:57, STARS: 0
Fact. They’re cheap enough where goons can afford them, which sucks for non-goons with the same amount of money as those goons.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 19:58, STARS: 0
It wasn’t my best work. I don’t remember why I sold it or what I did with the money, that’s the worst part. Maybe I bought a Crown Vic with it? No idea at all.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 20:00, STARS: 1
Rank the shit out of em! I should have done an ‘honorable mentions’ section, there were some near misses.
"McBain" (live4ever)
01/05/2017 at 20:01, STARS: 1
I had a 1988 Mercury Topaz (parents gave it to me in year 13 of life, crapped out after a year) followed by a Taurus wagon (which I bought with my own money for > $10K, at 22... my judgment center was very wrong), followed six years later by a Hyundai Elantra hatchback I kept for 10 years. I just got the Mustang a year ago, and that was after my wife and I decided there was no way we could buy a house around here, so I was allowed to drop 1/2 of the price of the car to keep the note low.
Buying and selling lots of cheap cars is definitely a way to go!
"McBain" (live4ever)
01/05/2017 at 20:02, STARS: 1
And really, the Taurus wagon was doing just fine when I got rid of it, it was just time for something that a single 28-year-old should be driving.
"Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever" (superchan7)
01/05/2017 at 20:02, STARS: 0
Didn’t know those weighed that much! I thought that would have been more like what today’s luxed-up LCs would weigh.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 20:02, STARS: 1
Mileage, the alternator didn’t scare me...what I pulled out was likely the original and I replaced it with a new Bosch unit. But stuff like the windows weren’t working right, the digital display on the dash was crapping out, and some other stuff...that’s the crap I hate dealing with. Plus it was getting really creaky inside. These cars seem to hit 150k and it’s like a brick wall.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 20:04, STARS: 0
That car was great. I almost blew it up once, hit first when I was looking for third. Thankfully I had a feeling and let the clutch out slow and stuffed it right back in as soon as something was clearly about to go terribly wrong.
Still idled and coasted to my next exit worrying that I was fucked though.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 20:15, STARS: 0
People forget, Tauruses were legitimately good cars. That wasn’t just Ford coasting by on a name, the Taurus was a real car...just like you said, maybe not one for a 28 year old single guy.
My wife has been remarkably cool about letting me have toy cars, probably because I usually make money and I always share the profits with her, haha.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/05/2017 at 20:16, STARS: 0
They’ve always been fairly dense, haha.
"McBain" (live4ever)
01/05/2017 at 21:02, STARS: 0
Taurus was no joke. The boat of car masquerading as a Taurus these days ... not so sure.
That is a great strategy!
"JeepJeremy" (jeepjeremy)
01/05/2017 at 21:43, STARS: 0
I am envious of your ownership of the YJ Sahara edition!
"awmaster10" (awmaster10)
01/05/2017 at 23:01, STARS: 0
Wow youve owned really cool cars. I had a feeling the fj80 would be near the top of the list, they are impossible not to love. Surprised the TransAm was so low though. With that vehicle history, have you considered a GTO or G8? Seems like the GTO would be the more grown up version of a couple of the muscle cars you owned.
"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5)
01/06/2017 at 06:02, STARS: 1
In fairness to the Trans Am, this is the top 10 out of 45 or so. I probably could have put it a spot or two higher, but a top 10 finish is still pretty good.
I might get around to a GTO or G8 someday, but it would have to be as a second or third car. I find that I really don’t want to drive a muscle car every day anymore, what with having a 1 year old and a very traffic filled commute. The Cruiser is good for that, it’s plenty comfortable to just hang out in in traffic.
"awmaster10" (awmaster10)
01/06/2017 at 14:38, STARS: 0
Im sure a G8 GT with stock exhaust and an auto would be pretty comfy in traffic too, but I totally love the land cruiser so I wont argue with that logic.