by "not for canada - australian in disguise" (for-canada)
Published 10/29/2016 at 01:46
by "not for canada - australian in disguise" (for-canada)
Published 10/29/2016 at 01:46
No Tags
STARS: 5
1. Five Guys
2. New York Fries
3. Wendy’s
4. McDonald’s
5. KFC
6. Harvey’s
7. Burger King
8. Getting hit by a car
9. Carl’s Jr
Like all my other lists, this isn’t subjective. This is 100% objective, and 100% factual. This is the official ranking.
"Noodles" (hilgyjeep)
10/29/2016 at 01:54, STARS: 3
Five Guys #1. You are correct.
"boxrocket" (boxrocket)
10/29/2016 at 01:54, STARS: 4
You’re missing Jack in the Box, Chick-fil-A, Dairy Queen, Arby’s, Penn Station (they’re faster than 5 guys), etc. McD’s are mostly salt with potato flavoring and don’t count. White Castle probably has the most disappointing fries of the major chains; PIZZA HUT has better fries (they’re damn good but pricey without ordering as a combo with wings).
"not for canada - australian in disguise" (for-canada)
10/29/2016 at 01:56, STARS: 0
1. No Jack In The Box in Canada
2. Same as no. 1
3. Fuck Dairy Queen outside of desserts
4. Curly fries are in a different category, along with waffle fries and steak fries
5. See no. 1 and 2
"Birddog" (maintmgt)
10/29/2016 at 02:00, STARS: 6
Not to go against the 100% objective and factual list but..
I would rather get hit by a car than eat BK fries.
Here’s a fun chart.
"66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash" (66671)
10/29/2016 at 02:01, STARS: 1
Quantity alone...
"not for canada - australian in disguise" (for-canada)
10/29/2016 at 02:01, STARS: 1
How the FUCK does Carl’s Jr put so much shit in their fries yet they still taste like cardboard.
"Birddog" (maintmgt)
10/29/2016 at 02:03, STARS: 1
I wonder the same at the sister store Hardees. If it weren’t for the salt they’d be worthless.
"Birddog" (maintmgt)
10/29/2016 at 02:11, STARS: 0
Chic-fil-a..
Come for the hype!
Leave with ennui..
"VW Max" (vw-max)
10/29/2016 at 02:11, STARS: 4
Because all the ingredients are different kinds of cardboard!
"PanchoVilleneuve ST" (PanchoVilleneuve)
10/29/2016 at 02:15, STARS: 1
In-N-Out’s fries come alive when you get them well done. They are nice and fluffy on the inside but you get that homemade potato chip/shoestring roasty toasty potato thing along with a nice amount of crispiness.
"Wheelerguy" (wheelerguy)
10/29/2016 at 02:20, STARS: 1
No.
Lutosa fries is Best Fries.
"Birddog" (maintmgt)
10/29/2016 at 02:22, STARS: 0
We don’t have those up here yet. That does sound amazing though.
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 02:24, STARS: 0
How are the FG fries so shitty? I can’t figure out how a place that starts with boxes of fresh potatoes ends up serving mushy, oily, garbage... The way they ruin potatoes should be a crime.
In-N-Out does decent fries, but they need to be well done (or extra well done). They become next-level when covered in cheese & grilled onions... The three ingredients are potatoes, oil (from the fryer), and salt/pepper blend, so I’m not sure how they come out as 3 ingredients.
Never been that fond of most fast food fries. McDs are like crunchy or mushy salt delivery systems. For a major national chain, the old Wendy’s fries (before they went all hipster) were among my favorites (along with many of their old square burgers).
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 02:26, STARS: 1
Why do people eat their fries anyhow? This is the chain with waffle fries, good onion rings, and fried zucchini. To not upgrade to at least one of these is a waste of a visit to Carl’s Jr.
"PanchoVilleneuve ST" (PanchoVilleneuve)
10/29/2016 at 02:27, STARS: 0
You won’t get them beyond where they currently are. The family that owns them is dead set on getting their beef from a certain supplier, and moving out of their current region means no more beef from that supplier.
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 02:33, STARS: 0
CFA’s waffle fries dipped in honey mustard are one of my guilty pleasures (along with their old spicy chicken sandwich before they tried to add green stuff to everything on the menu to claim they’re “healthy”).
I have long felt like such a bad person going there (which was cut off for years after I moved to the PNW where they didnt exist), but then I met the cutest flamboyant gay man that works there (he got all flustered both times he served me at the register, which is about the highest compliment I can receive) and everything was right with the world.
"Birddog" (maintmgt)
10/29/2016 at 02:33, STARS: 0
I love FG fries. They’re set to open one here soon and I’m actually chuffed about it. They arent for everyone though.
Im with you all the way on Wendy’s. When they changed something got lost in the translation. Guess what? Sea Salt doesn’t do anything different than regular Salt!! Marketing dicks... Grr!
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 02:33, STARS: 0
Definitely not for any other reason.
"Birddog" (maintmgt)
10/29/2016 at 02:35, STARS: 0
I respect that. That’s integrity.
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 02:43, STARS: 1
And their burgers are worse! They failed on every front with those changes.
Supposedly they did extensive market research to get to where they are now, but they drove me away with their changes. I go to them less than McDs now, and I almost never go to McDs to begin with.
The fact is that their unrepentant consistency in serving the same burgers for decades on end with no changes is what made them endearing. You could go there and step back to your childhood with one bite of a classic favorite. I still crave one of those old BBCs...
"InFierority Complex" (lanciere)
10/29/2016 at 02:45, STARS: 2
You can get fries that aren’t poutine up there?
"Birddog" (maintmgt)
10/29/2016 at 02:57, STARS: 1
“Market Research”
The only pseudo science that’s spot on or waaay the hell off mark.
Oddly, I miss the salad bar the most.
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 03:05, STARS: 0
They must have done it in secret because people would have protested the concept of changing them if they knew.
I think they did it all as isolated ingredient tests, too. There’s no way those yellow-bunned “natural” formed patty abominations would have won hearts and minds over the old menu.
"Gamecat235" (Gamecat235)
10/29/2016 at 03:20, STARS: 0
Best fast food fries list and you don’t even list Del Taco.
I can’t even.
"Gamecat235" (Gamecat235)
10/29/2016 at 03:22, STARS: 1
In-N-Out’s fries have a quality of freshness half life that is similar to some of the new elements that they discover in the Large Hadron Collider. If you don’t eat them RIGHT FUCKING NOW they suck.
"Birddog" (maintmgt)
10/29/2016 at 03:22, STARS: 0
All “fast food” companies go through that. Look at Arby’s. They’re still plugging along with their “Roast Beef”.
*WARNING* Foil hat mini rant!
It’s all based on people trying to find an excuse for being overweight. Blame the ingredients. Never how much gets consumed or how often. God forbid someone takes a walk somewhere instead of driving.
"camarov6rs" (mren2011)
10/29/2016 at 03:25, STARS: 2
Mmmmmm 5 guys Cajun fries!!
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 03:36, STARS: 1
That’s true of a lot of things. Every sandwich from CFA is effectively inedible beyond about 10 minutes out of the kitchen.
I think they last a bit longer if you get them well done. Still, I eat them first and never really considered why.
"Gamecat235" (Gamecat235)
10/29/2016 at 03:38, STARS: 0
But for those 10 minutes? It’s some damn good stuff, even their breakfast.
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 03:40, STARS: 1
This is why I don’t do drive throughs. If I can’t get my fat ass out of a car to walk inside, I shouldn’t be eating it.
Their roast beef is scary... it’s literally pink slime formed into a big chunk and soaked in liquid smoke. They heat it up and shave it off to make their scary sandwiches...
A lot of companies are trying to make their products look more “healthy”, but it’s all for show and mostly the exact opposite. They’re making something bigger to make people feel like they’re getting more for their money.
It’s like the platter problem. Restaurants serve food on plates that in the past were intended to be used as platters. Even the senior menu items are growing to massive sizes...
"Goggles Pizzano" (gogglespizzano)
10/29/2016 at 04:14, STARS: 1
Can’ believe you put Harvey’s just 2 above “being hit by a car”. Can I guess they’re much easier to get there? Solid list otherwise.
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 04:30, STARS: 0
You can, but they usually suck because they need at least gravy up there. Everyone knows they’re just carriers for gravy, so they make them accordingly.
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
10/29/2016 at 04:31, STARS: 0
You mean worst, right?
It’s like Taco Time and their “mexi fries”, which are actually tater tots.
"boxrocket" (boxrocket)
10/29/2016 at 09:44, STARS: 0
DQ really has improved a LOT in the last 6-12 months. Good portion sizes, reasonable prices, good flavors. Their soft-serve is disappointing as always, but it’s an effective way to satisfy a craving.
Do they have Steak ‘n Shake in Canuckistan?
"Gamecat235" (Gamecat235)
10/29/2016 at 10:41, STARS: 0
There are so many advantages of a well fried crinkle cut fry over those processed sticks above. The top 2 get a pass, but the rest? Oh no. No no no. Give me steak cut, crinkle cut, waffle, or just give up and make tater tots.
And for the record, the fries are the only good thing about Del taco.
"JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!" (jqj213)
10/29/2016 at 10:52, STARS: 3
Wrong
Missing Checkers Seasoned fries
Don’t usually ever eat fast food but these fries rock
"fhrblig" (fhrblig)
10/29/2016 at 13:03, STARS: 1
I don’t like 5 Guys, there I said it. Yes, I’m aware of the irony.
Good Times here in Colorado has Wild Fries that are fantastic. They’re similar to Checker’s/Rally’s fries but better.
"fhrblig" (fhrblig)
10/29/2016 at 13:04, STARS: 1
That’s why you get their onion rings instead. Or fried zucchini.
"fhrblig" (fhrblig)
10/29/2016 at 13:05, STARS: 0
No, their chicken soft tacos are good. Oh, and their burgers are surprisingly decent.
"Autofixation" (Autofixation)
10/29/2016 at 18:02, STARS: 1
This is correct.
"Grindintosecond" (Grindintosecond)
10/29/2016 at 18:33, STARS: 0
Does chick-fil-a’s waffle cut fries count as acfual fries? I would like to suggest Wendy’s pre-2005 fries as they had potato goodness within; however, theyre NLA so i suppose this ranking is for contemporary late-model fries.
"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
02/05/2017 at 01:31, STARS: 0
You are wrong and you should feel bad.
While almost all of those are, indeed, edible, slightly passable fries, Five Guys “fries” are just congealed grease sticks.
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
02/05/2017 at 01:34, STARS: 0
Damn. We’re so unoriginal on Oppo we’re recycling our own theme days!
"V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me!" (v8demon)
02/05/2017 at 01:48, STARS: 1
A place named New York Fries.
Has no location in New York.
What.
The.
Fuck?
"JawKnee" (JawKnee)
02/05/2017 at 02:06, STARS: 0
You have failed to mention Rally’s/Checker’s we are now officially enemies
"Tapas" (tapas)
02/05/2017 at 02:48, STARS: 0
Don’t know about the remaining list, but Five Guys fries are the bomb.
"Jayhawk Jake" (jayhawkjake)
02/05/2017 at 08:09, STARS: 0
I don’t really like 5 guys fries that much. I feel like they’re usually soggy.
Freddy’s is my favorite at the moment, and Braum’s is pretty high up
"Jayhawk Jake" (jayhawkjake)
02/05/2017 at 08:12, STARS: 1
Glad I’m not alone. I haven’t been in a while, but even the burgers I feel like are ‘good for fast food’ and not much else. Maybe I’ve just been spoiled by some really good local places.
Five Guys sits in this weird spot where it doesn’t really satisfy a fast food craving but it doesn’t hold up against traditional restaurants/bars