by "Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
Published 11/06/2015 at 12:00
by "Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
Published 11/06/2015 at 12:00
Tags: bromance
; freak shit division
; renault
; chevrolet
; buick
; buick reatta
; hilux
; toyota
; true story
STARS: 16
I’ve seen a procession of people come in and out over the years I’ve spent in this neighborhood, but the latest one sure got my attention.
It started when I spotted his Tercel with a vintage u-pick junkyard sticker on the bumper. Then the Hilux SR5 getting engine-swapped and resprayed in the garage when I would walk past. Now, there’s a Buick Reatta. I have to talk to this man, but how to introduce me? Hello, I’m a guy who also likes cars? I’ll sound like that guy at the party, the guy who owns a base-model BMW and calls himself a car enthusiast, but only wants to talk about his options package. No, that can’t do. I have to prove myself. I have to buy some freak shit.
I drove by his house slowly and purposefully for an entire week with a 1964 Renault Dauphine Gordini, its massive halogen driving lamps waggling happily on the tube-steel bumper. Not a peep.
Well, maybe dude only likes Japanese and American cars. No problem, thought I, and pulled out a manual-swapped G-body Malibu wagon with twin Roots blowers sticking out of the hood. Again, nothing doing, after an entire week of doing brakestands in front of his house until the neighbors’ 311 complaints stacked up so substantially that the city issued a special investigator to track me down.
I was out of ideas. What kind of car would get this guy’s attention? Then it hit me.
I walked out in front of his house waving a blown up Photoshopped picture of a rust-free CRX Si. I heard a clattering, as if a series of pots and pans were being dropped, and the garage door opened. The owner ran out onto the street, panting and red-faced. At last!
There was no time to appreciate my victory, however. I heard a braying from far away and turned on my heel to see a Chevrolet Colorado, equipped with a big-block Chevy and topped with massive blue and red strobe lights, approaching. On its flanks, in immaculate gold hand lettering, it said “SPECIAL CITY INVESTIGATOR - FREAK SHIT DIVISION.”
Really, it’s difficult to make new friends. And sometimes when you do make those new friends, you have to turn them over to the police in a vain effort to keep the neighbors from burning your house down. That’s life.
"Meatcoma" (mastapoof)
11/06/2015 at 12:04, STARS: 0
I recently seen a reatta locally for $1000, still sad I did not buy it.
"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
11/06/2015 at 12:04, STARS: 5
I would have bought that instantly. It has a touch screen CRT .
"Nobi" (nobi)
11/06/2015 at 12:04, STARS: 0
Just walk up and say “Hi, I’m your neighbor.” Introduce yourself and let the conversation flow into what he's working on, and go from there.
"deekster_caddy" (deekster_caddy)
11/06/2015 at 12:06, STARS: 0
Used to have an ‘86 Riviera with the touch screen CRT. Worked surprisingly well.
"Meatcoma" (mastapoof)
11/06/2015 at 12:07, STARS: 0
I know.
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
11/06/2015 at 12:22, STARS: 1
Another gem. Bravo.
Also, always wanted a Reatta. Don’t understand why they didn’t sell.
"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
11/06/2015 at 12:26, STARS: 1
It was a handmade FWD V6 coupe that cost $25k in 1988 (about $50k today).
Actually that sounds like a pretty good deal.
"Dogapult" (dogapult)
11/06/2015 at 12:26, STARS: 0
I almost bought one for $1200 at one point. But the dealership didn’t feel like negotiating on the torn seat, gone clearcoat, busted foglights, and headlights stuck in the “up” position. but the CRT worked properly!
"Meatcoma" (mastapoof)
11/06/2015 at 12:46, STARS: 0
Ha, listing is still up.
It looks so sad.
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/ctd/5277002881…
"Dogapult" (dogapult)
11/06/2015 at 12:55, STARS: 0
blue on blue wouldn’t be my choice, but other than the easily fixable tear on the seat bolster, that looks pretty good!
"JustAnotherG6" (bcabrington)
11/06/2015 at 13:02, STARS: 1
You don’t want to come within 10 ft of a touch screen CRT. Especially, one in a Buick.
Source: My wife had an ‘88 Riv. when we were first dating. It worked 100% of the time, but it only displayed anything 40% of the time. You had to memorize where the buttons were for each of the four screens. I still hate touch screens partially due to this.
"Meatcoma" (mastapoof)
11/06/2015 at 13:16, STARS: 0
I thought it was white, but when I looked up the url from the email I sent my wife I found it to be blue.
I’m going to agree with you that blue would not be my first choice.
"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
11/06/2015 at 13:23, STARS: 2
Just an excuse to cram Arduinos into another car. Or something.
Let’s be honest, it’s a 30 year old Buick. Even if it didn’t have touchscreens most of it wouldn’t be working.
"yitznewton" (yitznewton)
11/06/2015 at 13:28, STARS: 0
I’ve visited a couple used-car holes in the wall along a local commercial strip lately, and there’s been a Reatta parked across the street. Pretty sure it’s not a for-sale car, but always nice to see something unusual and pretty.
"Van Man, rocks the Man Van" (jacoboconnell)
11/06/2015 at 13:35, STARS: 0
Semi-related, there's a young guy down the street from me who's got a tastefully modded FR-S, a 300ZX, and some other project car (I have no idea what it is because it's currently missing a fascia). I hope I can get to talk to him one day.
"touring the brook - now with ZHP!" (touringthebrook)
11/06/2015 at 18:57, STARS: 0
I never see interesting cars on my street. The most interesting is my mom’s X5,
"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
11/06/2015 at 23:48, STARS: 2
You’re gonna have to move.
"Tohru" (tohrurokuno)
11/09/2015 at 14:07, STARS: 0
I missed an opportunity for a Reatta for $800 with a fully-functional touch screen setup.
"xyzabc" (stackofoldwood)
12/19/2017 at 07:46, STARS: 0
At today’s used car prices, a well-cared for Regatta is a steal for what you get. Cleaned-up it’s a stylish vehicle. Screw SUV’s and the whole fabricated “I’m ready to drive the kalahari desert to find my inner soul” thing.
Properly maintained Buick 3.8L V6's are near bulletproof. Most of the parts are ubiquitous.
Get it.
"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
12/19/2017 at 08:35, STARS: 0
Here we go down another rabbit hole....
Total redone... just need paint and upholstery.
"Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW!" (theduckduck)
12/19/2017 at 09:49, STARS: 1
I had an 88 Riviera Silver Anniversary and yes it was epic.
"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
12/19/2017 at 10:11, STARS: 0
It wasn’t all that different under the skin from any other w-body and I guess that showed.
"ZHP Sparky, the 5th" (e30s2k)
12/19/2017 at 12:54, STARS: 0
There seem to be a few “car people” in my neighborhood. It’s been about a year since I moved in, so probably past the “hey I’m your new neighbor” phase. Pretty sure only one, maybe two of them I’d actually be curious to talk to (first two listed below)
- Guy with a current gen 4Runner TRD Pro and 3
rd
gen 4 runner in clean condition parked in drive way. I see a stripped project
car being sprayed in the garage every now and then. Pretty sure it’s a Triumph
TR6, car I think looks and sounds brilliant but one I would never throw money
in to. Also has a well behaved black lab, seems like a nice family.
- Kind of dark and run down looking house, but AP1
S2000 parked on the street, rusty old Datsun pickup in the driveway, and Subaru
Legacy GT wagon I’ve seen a few times too. Never see anyone around though.
Given that I’ve owned 2 of those cars (LGT and S2000) I’d say we have similar
taste in cars. Wanted to dig up an S2000 soft top/interior protector cover I
had for my car so I can offer it to the guy, hopefully didn’t lose it in our
move.
- Old dude next street over with a brown 190E. Saw
him while walking by one day and chatted for a minute. As soon as I said I love
those old mercs and I have a BMW from the same era he just started going off
about how shitty those BMWs are and his (not clean at all) merc is the far
superior car. OK bro. Then he started talking about people of color running
around killing random white people (note, I’m brown and was standing there with
my white wife). Guy was just a bit all over the place and maybe not entirely with
it.
- House down the street with an Audi A6 with a
sweet exhaust note and aftermarket wheels, looks pretty nice. Always drives
down the street way over the speed limit like a douche though (this is a very
quiet street with kids playing, people walking dogs, etc.). Not sure if the
kind of neighbor whose automotive habits I want to encourage.
- Run down house – probably a bunch of young dudes
living there. Always see a bunch of sports bikes and other vehicles that switch
over every few months. Probably a side buy-fix-flip show they’ve got going.
Used to have a mid 2000’s Impreza 2.5RS that was way too loud – dude, we all
know its not a WRX. Then an IS300, then a E39 528i, and lately a beat up Ford
Explorer that looks like it was a police vehicle that got in a wreck.
- House on next street over with an old SC300 all
tinted and slammed, and lifted jeep Cherokee…and a whole bunch of “I love my
guns” flags outside the garage…I’ll stay away.
Basically – sure there are lots of car people out there, but a good majority of them pretty sure I wouldn’t care to want to know. And yes – meeting new people and making friends as an adult sucks. Being in a new city now it feels super weird not having my network of friends I’ve known for 10+ years and having to start from scratch. It’s like the married equivalent of dating and is equally anxiety inducing.