by "Collin" (coliin)
Published 11/26/2013 at 13:11
by "Collin" (coliin)
Published 11/26/2013 at 13:11
Tags: Love
; Romance
; BMW
; Kawasaki
STARS: 47
As the weather grows colder and true winter sets in, people find themselves in need of a warm body to cuddle up with while they binge on Netflix. While romantic comedies paint pictures of cute women bumping into Hugh Jackman the Pharmacist Lawyer Fighter Pilot in a field of clover, what women should really be dreaming of dating is Hugh Jackman the Mechanic.
Despite what Ballaban's fiance thinks, the scent of gasoline is the scent of romance because no one understands romance like a gearhead.
My first motorcycle was a 1983 Kawasaki KZ305 that I bought for $600. It wasn't the most flashy bike out there, nor was it the most reliable, but I loved that little bike more than anything. Where others saw a small, old, faded, duct taped, underpowered relic, I saw a thing of beauty. The flaws weren't flaws. They gave it character. They made it unique. Anybody can walk into a showroom and buy a Honda Shadow 750. There's nothing special about that. My KZ305, however, was definitely special.
What woman wouldn't want a man who appreciates the little things that make her unique? What woman wouldn't want a man who sees the value in the things that make her special? What woman wouldn't want a man whose face lights up every time he looks at her: duct taped seat, bent handlebars, and all? What woman wouldn't want a man who, instead of trying to look past her flaws, loves her more because of what makes her her?
In a time when people go through relationships and cars like candy, it is the gearhead whose love and appreciation will stand the test of time. It takes real dedication to stick around for the long run, and believe me, a gearhead has dedication. The guy on his third lease in five years can't understand it, but the guy who tore out the Lucas electrics on his British roadster and then redid it all himself absolutely gets it. The more you invest in a relationship, the more rewarding it will be.
When the clutch cable on my KZ305 snapped in the middle of traffic, I could have just walked away. It's a $600 bike. Where do you even find a clutch cable for a 30 year old Japanese bike? No one would have blamed me for junking that little bike, but I couldn't do it. I searched the country until I found a junk yard in California that had a replacement cable, and then I replaced it myself. I loved that bike, and I wasn't about to let something like the inability to shift gears keep me from enjoying the open road.
A gearhead also gets that a relationship needs maintenance. Normal people don't hand wash and wax their cars in the middle of November, but guess what I was doing two Sundays ago. I'll give you a hint: I was hand washing and waxing my E39 until it shone like brand new. I may drive a 15 year old car, but you better bet that I'm not giving up on keeping it in great condition.
A gearhead knows that if you don't keep the car washed and waxed, there's nothing to keep the paint from chipping. One fleck here and there is inevitable, but if you just let it go, before you know it, not only do you need new paint, but you also need new panels because your beloved car now has a rust problem.
If you care about someone, you make sure to maintain the relationship, not because you want to impress her friends with the gifts you give and the dates you take her on, but because you know that without those little things, the relationship will fall apart. Personally, I'd rather not spend a Saturday afternoon on my back, accidentally getting a face full of transmission fluid, but my transmission is more important to me than the shirt that I ruined. Besides, it's getting through the hard times and working through problems that brings you closer to the one you love.
It may be crazy to love an inanimate object, but sometimes a little crazy is just what a relationship needs. Spend one weekend at a Concours d'Elegance, then tell me that those owners are crazy for loving their cars. At its core, a Concours is a celebration of love. Spend an hour walking around a car club, and all you'll see is love and dedication. After all, it's a business that can only thrive because of the fact that its members value their love of cars more than they value what's "sensible" or "practical."
If your fiance wants to get married at a car club that smells like gasoline, what he is saying to you is, "Honey, I love you, and I'm not going anywhere. Marry me in a place built on and dedicated to love."
How could it get any more romantic than that?
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
11/26/2013 at 13:22, STARS: 9
Fantastic read, I salute you sir.
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
11/26/2013 at 13:23, STARS: 4
Inb4 frontpaged.
Seriously, well done, though I'd almost have expected this to be sprung closer to a traditional romantic holiday.
"Anima" (anima)
11/26/2013 at 13:25, STARS: 2
Bravo!
"Collin" (coliin)
11/26/2013 at 13:25, STARS: 0
Haha thanks. It was inspired by Ballaban's tweet earlier today though, so I figured it was worth not waiting for Valentine's Day or the BCS Championship game.
"BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion" (pbs)
11/26/2013 at 13:31, STARS: 17
Damn.
"Ian Duer (320b)" (320b)
11/26/2013 at 13:37, STARS: 1
Excellent! Pardon me while I figure out whether to nod sagely, chuckle or get misty-eyed.
"Tom McParland" (tommcparland)
11/26/2013 at 13:37, STARS: 1
Excellent!
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
11/26/2013 at 13:39, STARS: 1
I won't lie, I got a little misty-eyed.
"oldirtybootz" (oldirtybootz)
11/26/2013 at 13:46, STARS: 5
Excellent post! I sent it right to my girlfriend.
"DatASSun" (DatASSun)
11/26/2013 at 13:51, STARS: 5
wont lie I got a little teary eyed but Im just stoned at work so what do I know ...
"AMC/Renauledge" (n2skylark)
11/26/2013 at 13:52, STARS: 8
So right.
"Michael Ballaban" (ballaban)
11/26/2013 at 13:56, STARS: 5
Oh god.
Edit : For the record, she does appreciate a fine automobile. Lord knows that, after the long drives we've taken especially in a particularly gorgeous Cadillac CTS-V Wagon which she has now declared her Favorite Car of All Time Forever and Ever.
The smell of gasoline reminds her of motion sickness, though. That's all.
"Olga Oksman" (ExitNormal)
11/26/2013 at 13:59, STARS: 5
All valid points, and very well stated. But in all fairness, I had really horrible motion sickness as a child, so the smell of gasoline is forever associated with aggressive vomiting in my mind. Mmmm, wedding cake vomit. I know, really romantic.
Sincerely,
The fiance
"Bvnni" (bvnni)
11/26/2013 at 13:59, STARS: 2
Seriously. No words for this. I want to print this and just... hand it out.
Wow, stirs the emotions a bit. As a car person and as a chick who has dated guys who didn't get the car thing sigh.
Thank you for writing this. Just, thank you. Thank you.
"Michael Ballaban" (ballaban)
11/26/2013 at 14:00, STARS: 3
I can confirm that is indeed the Fiancee in question.
For context, this was the offending tweet.
"DRVN2WN" (drvn2wn)
11/26/2013 at 14:03, STARS: 0
A great read, although here's a counterpoint that entered my mind as I read through: while the gearhead does, in fact, understand commitment and the importance of the relationship, what prevents the human relationship from being neglected in pursuit of the automotive hobby as many are likely to do?
"Ger" (gmh)
11/26/2013 at 14:03, STARS: 4
Man we need to find you a lady. Before you turn into this guy:
"Wolc *grammar nazis go f*** yourselves*" (wolc)
11/26/2013 at 14:04, STARS: 2
I'm leaking a little coolant from my eyes, but you are correct. BTW, I now understand why my wife is jelous at my e36
"Z06blake" (z06blake)
11/26/2013 at 14:05, STARS: 3
I usually never read an article twice. I read this one 3 times. Excellent read.
"Collin" (coliin)
11/26/2013 at 14:08, STARS: 2
Already got one, and her name is Kate. She's really great (and also a woman, not a car).
"Anima" (anima)
11/26/2013 at 14:13, STARS: 2
So thatīs where Vettel got the name from huh. ;)
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
11/26/2013 at 14:14, STARS: 7
So true and well written. Other than the fact that a good third of us are super awkward with ADD and no social skills :(
"Ger" (gmh)
11/26/2013 at 14:18, STARS: 1
Haha, no disrespect! I was just waiting to use that image for months. I felt dirty having it saved in my pictures folder for no reason at all. VINDICATION!
"Collin" (coliin)
11/26/2013 at 14:24, STARS: 0
Don't worry. It'll take a lot more than that to offend me.
"Rustang" (rustang)
11/26/2013 at 14:28, STARS: 0
Suggest a threesome.
"Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW." (aya-yu)
11/26/2013 at 14:46, STARS: 0
I. Am. Astounded.
"tokengirl" (tokengirl)
11/26/2013 at 14:48, STARS: 0
Are you married cuz I could be not married. My dream trip is to attend the Classic Japanese Car Show in LA. Let's meet.
"PurpleGryphon" (PurpleGryphon)
11/26/2013 at 14:51, STARS: 1
My first motorcycle was a 1983 Kawasaki KZ305 that I bought for $600. It wasn't the most flashy bike out there, nor was it the most reliable, but I loved that little bike more than anything. Where others saw a small, old, faded, duct taped, underpowered relic, I saw a thing of beauty. The flaws weren't flaws. They gave it character. They made it unique. Anybody can walk into a showroom and buy a Honda Shadow 750. There's nothing special about that. My KZ305, however, was definitely special.
That's exactly how I feel about my $1300 Fiero 2M4. It might be an small, old, underpowered beater, but I think it's amazing. Plenty of people love to bash on Fieros, and plenty don't understand why I love my car, but I think it's the best.
"Collin" (coliin)
11/26/2013 at 15:02, STARS: 3
Sorry, but I'm pretty sure my girlfriend wouldn't like me flying to LA to meet a girl from the Internet.
"Converse" (VortexAutosport)
11/26/2013 at 15:38, STARS: 1
Seems reasonable. Motion sickness is no fun and smells can definitely set those wheels in motion.
For awhile I couldn't drink tequila because it reminded me of the exhaust from the E85 burning Porsche RSR in the shop that made me feel so nauseous.
"71Europa" (vinceinboston)
11/26/2013 at 15:43, STARS: 1
Anyone who's suffered through owning mid 60's & 70's Brit cars knows exactly what you mean. What women could be more difficult to live with than a Lotus with Lucas wiring!
"71Europa" (vinceinboston)
11/26/2013 at 15:56, STARS: 2
Anyone who's suffered through owning mid 60's & 70's Brit cars knows exactly what you mean. What women could be more difficult to live with than a Lotus with Lucas wiring!
"Dream Theater of the Absurd" (scotz)
11/26/2013 at 16:01, STARS: 2
I think my wife understands this phenomenon. She referred to my Miata as "the other woman" for the first two years I owned it.
Still have the wife and the Miata, btw.
"RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire" (ricerocketeer2)
11/26/2013 at 16:09, STARS: 0
Well, you'd have to wait until next September ...
"Dream Theater of the Absurd" (scotz)
11/26/2013 at 16:28, STARS: 0
Why single out Lotus?
"Poundingsand" (Poundingsand)
11/26/2013 at 16:41, STARS: 0
Does Lucas make fridges for the Brits? That explains the warm beer...
"GhostZ" (GhostZ)
11/26/2013 at 16:48, STARS: 0
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Replace razors with cars, and this has been all of my relationships. Cars are way more reliable and interesting than most people.
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
11/26/2013 at 16:51, STARS: 1
She does exist!
"Collin" (coliin)
11/26/2013 at 17:31, STARS: 0
You are very welcome. Thank you for reading.
"Collin" (coliin)
11/26/2013 at 17:32, STARS: 1
Presumably because he owns a 1971 Lotus Europa.
"TractionControlOff" (TractionControlOff)
11/26/2013 at 18:52, STARS: 2
You don't even need a Concours. Show up at Cars & Coffee's. I can connect with this in so many ways!
"Dream Theater of the Absurd" (scotz)
11/26/2013 at 19:18, STARS: 0
True, but Lotus was far from alone in its use of Lucas electricals.
"GXP_Addiction" (GXP_Addiction)
11/26/2013 at 21:00, STARS: 0
this is my fiance's when I found out she did a frame off resto when she was 16 I decided to wife her up......originally bought by her great grandfather in 69' her grandmother drove it until she passed in 94 then last summer we brought our daughter (named after her grandmother) home drom the hospital in it, 5th generation and still under 40k original miles
"Jeff-God-of-Biscuits" (Jeff-God-of-Biscuits)
11/26/2013 at 22:55, STARS: 1
"Normal people don't hand wash and wax their cars in the middle of November"
Just be really, really careful when you try to transition this one from car to girlfriend!
Seriously.
"Jeff-God-of-Biscuits" (Jeff-God-of-Biscuits)
11/26/2013 at 22:56, STARS: 0
Fantastic article. As the former owner of a Fiat Spyder, I truly understand. (frame rusted out from under me, there was nothing I could have done to save her. Honest, she left me!)
"Jeremy R" (jeremyr)
11/27/2013 at 01:38, STARS: 0
Can anyone please identify what the car is pictured at the beginning of the article?
"Tsokura" (Tsokura)
11/27/2013 at 05:00, STARS: 0
Super excellent read on how to treat not only cars and other people, but also objects and places! Dedication trumps disposability always!
"vc-10" (vc-10)
11/27/2013 at 13:09, STARS: 0
Smells are one of the strongest ways to recall memories. I'm not surprised you don't want your big day somewhere that reminds you of being sick!
"h--bomb" (h--bomb)
11/28/2013 at 03:05, STARS: 0
Scotty and Enterprise: greatest romance ever?
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Don't talk about another man's girl like that...
"h--bomb" (h--bomb)
11/28/2013 at 03:05, STARS: 0
Scotty and Enterprise: greatest romance ever?
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Don't talk about another man's girl like that...